Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
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Top comments
nanner42 13
Should have shot him back
coolboy675 16
Boom, headshot!
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Comments (42)
nanner42 13
Should have shot him back
HowAreYouToday 34
But do it with a twist. Shot him with a regular gun. Oh chaos. Delicious chaos!
coolboy675 16
Judging from your pic #1, would you have suggested using breast milk to shoot with?
feelingold 18
It's not his fault you look like a stack of paper.
JFloUnknown 24
But his staples are.
oj101 33
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
nanner42 13
Well no since I am not pregnant. Judging from your pic, do you hate Jews?
wjh100 13
well if its a gun that can launch staples I'm guessing a construction job, so shoot him back with a 4 inch roofing nail gun.
MonsterLovesMe 5
But... We still have the other eye, right?
coolboy675 16
Boom, headshot!
iAlissa 34
Try to hit me, try to hit me.. C'mon!
kwyk 23
The buy guys are never as bad as they seem, or the good guys as good.
ThatPlankton 15
As a guy who buys things, I can confirm that we aren't all bad.
gc327072 31
And as a sell guy I would like it to be made clear that I am a total bastard.
jajajapun 5
nice guys finish last
Snowkeys 11
Awesome guys finish on her face.
j_cat187 20
That was filthy! Nice guys go in deep.
ultimate41 13
Because nice guys always let the girl finish first ????.
Irchell 17
Shoot back, with a nail gun, in his balls.
kamikrazy 6
Going a bit too far don't ya think?
ileenefudge 29
No
jackiemora 18
Reminds me that no matter what girls say who they dislike, they will still continue to like assholes. And then ask why they can't find a nice guy. Too busy getting shot by a stapler gun.
AbstraktThoughts 13
What the fuckery **** are you talking about? I'm stuck between deciding whether this was a poor attempt at making a joke or whether it's just pure stupidity. Please show me where in the FML it refers to OP being a girl complaining about not finding a nice guy.
jackiemora 18
The titled name ._.
morella_xx 29
The username is "annoyedgirl." Doesn't make #7's comment any less stupid though.
jackiemora 18
My comment wasn't a joke nor stupidity, just simply stating what it sounded to me. The stereotype of girls dating assholes. That's all. And the last part was a lame joke intended.
jackiemora 18
Hence me saying "reminds me of" not "this is what it is"
EVnIAS 13
It didn't seem lame to me! it seemed more painful than anything... but I did get the joke at the end! just wanted to let you know
thatcoolkidd96 6
She never once mentioned liking him in that way.
Bakarra 22
#23 "I found myself starting to like him" not defending the original comment just sayin Edit: read your comment wrong, true she didn't like him in a relationship way, my mistake.
ElizaAnne 7
I don't know why people are assuming she meant liking him in the romantic sense. I took it as she just started to think he wasn't that bad of a person after all... but obviously her first impression was correct.
CharresBarkrey 16
"My comment wasn't a joke..." And a few sentences later, "And the last part was a lame joke." You're not making any sense.
bishoujo 5
Her name is annoyed girl...
Ctrl_H 18
Funny how life's like that, right?
RodzillaX 30
Never let your guard down.
PrincessPesa 20
Shoulda trusted your gut!
JACKxRAWR 22
Shoulda trusted Special Agent Gibbs' gut.
_DudeGuy_ 16
16, since Cpt. Jack Sparrow is so humorous and at times rude, whenever I see your picture I imagine him working at a fashion shop, then when someone's checking out, I imagine him picking up some jeans and saying: "Sorry... We don't have these in fatass."
faint0fhearts 16
Please tell me you got him back?