Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
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Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
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Comments (199)
NatalieMalik 0
Thts scary i wud dump her immediately
Eiregal2 10
wow... that is possibly the weirdest thing i ever read on this site. thats mentaly disturbing!
FMLxAllxThexTime 7
She's a keeper;D
Big_Chives 7
Meanwhile in Canada...
G1ZZY 0
Your next
wheel_man07 0
That's hot.
xxskarcrowkidxx 4
Ydi for dating a freak.
Tommay186 7
Just pretend you're one of her dolls If you're that jealous!
Elendil_fml 10
I'd like to watch that, I think.
Rasetsu 10
Maternal instincts are scary. When women start craving a child, they do odd things. Like going to the playground to watch the children, bringing out their old baby dolls, researching baby names, etc. maybe she's at that stage?