Today, I had to try to convince my roommate that, yes, you do need to use dish soap when you hand wash dishes because of bacteria in old food. She still won't believe me, insisting that, "There's no such thing as bacteria in food." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, my roommate said that whoever was doing the dishes was doing it wrong. I've been doing the dishes for weeks. So much for being a clean roommate. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, I watched as my girlfriend washed the last of the dishes with a dishcloth, then used that same dishcloth to wipe down the counters. I now understand why we always have bugs. FML
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rivimatt 20
Make them a special dinner with raw chicken and eggs
LilMissCanadian 22
How did your roommate get into the school?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
UncleCaitlyn 21
This is all new news to me
TreeTreeMan 23
I'm pretending this is sarcasm #1, just to make myself feel better
UncleCaitlyn 21
It was sarcasm but I guess I didn't really make it clear. It's hard to tell when your typing
Abhimanyu 14
you're *
heart_aussie_fml 20
Sometimes, I wonder how people survive so long...
thatguy206 27
sometimes natural selection kicks in.
Redgy22 26
Ever see the movie "Idiocracy?"
david66_fml 20
It's probably time to get a new roommate.
rivimatt 20
Make them a special dinner with raw chicken and eggs
LilMissCanadian 22
How did your roommate get into the school?
david66_fml 20
It's possible that op and her roommate aren't in school together but are just simply splitting rent to make living more affordable
elcee1987 18
She probably filled out the application. You know, the one that doesn't ask whether there is bacteria in food.
juicy_extasy 25
That's just unhygienic besides disgusting! Always wash your own dishes then OP.
dragoongirl90 34
While that works in theory, how is OP to know which dishes are the ones she washed? It's like at my mom's, I have to wash the dishes BEFORE and AFTER because my mother doesn't know how to anymore, and there is no way to tell if she hasn't used my dishes or not. The only solution might be to take the clean ones she plans to use and hide them in her room. It's what I started doing.
juicy_extasy 25
Good point, though she can also try to give each piece she plans to use before a meal a wash.
musoboy 22
She sounds like an anti-vaxxer
MsMedea 26
You should definitely volunteer to do all the cooking and cleaning!
syki 22
…Are you the roommate? This was your plan all along! :o
teapotrevolt 27
Best take the soap out of the shower, because germs can't possibly be a thing there either. Lol
account_to_poost 3
Soap in the shower is to remove dirt, sweat, and the various undesirable (eg BO producing) fungi/molds that have built up on your skin. It has nothing to do with "killing germs"
SleepyPharma 21
I wonder what she thinks food poisoning comes from? "Food poisons, duh!!"
Le_ponderer 14
Your room mate is an extreme optimist. She has apparently never eaten a contaminated or poorly prepared salad and spent agonizing hours in the loo wondering why she did not just eat dried nuts instead. Live and learn OP.
ellabellaboom 24
That doesn't mean that the roommate is optimistic. Sounds more ignorant and oblivious than anything really.