Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML
Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML
Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML
Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend got us evicted. The lazy prick kept throwing dog poop onto the neighbors' patio instead of disposing it properly. Management told him he could either get rid of the dog or we had to go. My ex refused and slammed the door in his face. The lease is in my name, so my credit is fucked. FML
Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML
Today I knocked on one of my roommate's door and asked her to stop vacuuming since it's was late. She started to record me and went on a tirade about how none of the girls there respect her. She has previously tried to push two girls down the stairs. Her lease isn't up for 4 more months. FML
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Top comments
weepingangel_fml 7
They didn't call the cops on him?
J3R3MYY 14
**** the lease, gtf outa there!!
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Comments (98)
weepingangel_fml 7
They didn't call the cops on him?
npnptracking 7
What a crazy motherf*cker..
cameron194 9
time to strap up lol.. if he pulls a gun on u, u best have a gun to point back with lol
solid2dew 6
^ totally agree. Texas Law buddy. All you gotta do is draw faster lol
AnonymousTroll 2
Get a girlfriend, she can do the dishes for you.
soccerguy2 11
If they called the cops on him then he would have killed them.
nava1210 12
You will need.. -Sleight of Hand -QuickDraw -Steady Aim ..For this situation GOOD LUCK
Jovecove 13
Don't forget Final Stand... Just in case shit happens
rallets 23
if hes got a pistol get a machine gun go big or go home
SillyFart 7
My ex told me to go home :(
MrShizzBear 0
You can a) sleep with one eye open or b) learn the art of being a ninja
willou35_fml 13
lol
mk58 31
Just hole up in your room and don't get on his nerves. You don't want to end up a bloody mess, do you?
m0tl3ycru3 0
Wear a bullet proof vest under your clothing.
Sniperkid07 6
I love Mötley Crüe!
DigitalFusion 4
Seems like valid information to throw him out of your place. Next time do a thorough background check, including past roommates.
beachbabe830 0
At least he's honest about it
npnptracking 7
Honest about what?
J3R3MYY 14
**** the lease, gtf outa there!!
bossroyd 4
Or you could invest in a bullet proof vest...
Chloe2008 0
Okay mom if I dont call you at 7:30 AM then call the cops
DigitalFusion 4
No such thing as a bullet proof vest. Bullet resistant maybe. Body armor is the most accurate term.
Cinn_fml 23
Well, at least you know. However, who told you this? Because if it's him, he might just be bullshitting you to stop you nagging him. Get confirmation on this story from someone else. Also, they managed to get rid of him without anyone dying (well, it's implied), so if he does try the same trick again, you should be able to get rid of him in the same way. Either way; be careful.
evaki1 12
The more you know????
cmyk 19
Damn.. Instead of nagging, put them in his room, shower or make a trail to his room with them? Or just pull a gun on him too when he dosent clean up?
SHANK_a_F00 4
Guns are for wimps. Real men take a knife to a gun fight and win.
elementalz 2
84 I'm getting the feeling u run around with tomahawks and throwing knives in COD am I right?
SHANK_a_F00 4
Watch my video :D it's on my profile
glutgyoogle 6
Just take a dip in sweet mustard & sing showtunes. Problem solved.
Sniperkid07 6
WTF!? For some reason that sounds like a good idea?
Gondile 4
It's a damn good idea! Bonus ppints if you use a life size hot dog bun as a towel
77777771 12
Whatever you do DON'T eat any of his cheesy puffs.
bitchslapped22 14
Make sure you wash all the dishes
killak41 9
Guess you gunna have to wash the dishes by yourself then