Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML
Today, my abusive ex-husband thought it was a good idea to buy the house next door and start living there immediately. Looks like I gotta move. FML
Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML
Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
Today, my now ex-best friend decided to sell his house. This wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't asked me to live in it and look after it, which I've been doing for two years while he's abroad, and is the result of his loud-mouthed, obese mother leading him around by the nose, and forcing both of us to pay her bills. FML
Today, my new neighbor broke into our new house because his key didn't work. We just closed on the house this week and changed the locks when footprints were found in the bathtub after the cleaning crew went through. FML
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Top comments
whaime 10
Time to call the police! lol
rocker_chick23 27
Call the police.
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Comments (67)
whaime 10
Time to call the police! lol
silvercamaro 22
Or just call the parents, they could probably straighten everything out for OP. Of that doesn't work then yes, call the cops
PIGaming 21
"Better call Saul!"
Ghosty546 16
@21 if he's a crackhead he's probably not in the best state of mind to listen to reason.
PageantGirlXOXO 16
21: Unless they moved out to avoid their son. Which is shitty for OP. You can't reason with crackheads very well.
incoherentrmblr 22
They say you are the company you keep...
rocker_chick23 27
Call the police.
Demig0d6 14
Or et him in and becomes friends
ThatPlankton 15
Crackhead (E.T.) phone home.
Kiki242 19
Call the police if he doesn't leave you alone.
KingLewisII 34
Well, home is where you make it
UnicornFarts 15
You like to see homos naked.
s7evin 12
You like to see homos naked??
STEALTHHUNTER88 13
Home is where the crackhead breaks in!
Tdrizzzzzly 19
He probably left his stash in one of the air vents. Just give it back!
psycheiris13 20
No wonder they didn't tell you! Haha but seriously you don't have to put up with him in any way, it's your house and if he doesn't stop get the police involved.
omggitshaley_ 9
Sounds like something from Breaking Bad..
vramzee 3
my first thought
TvSmith 8
Notify the previous occupants if you can and the police
kurodansei 16
give him a forwarding address?