Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML
Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML
Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML
Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend got us evicted. The lazy prick kept throwing dog poop onto the neighbors' patio instead of disposing it properly. Management told him he could either get rid of the dog or we had to go. My ex refused and slammed the door in his face. The lease is in my name, so my credit is fucked. FML
Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML
Today I knocked on one of my roommate's door and asked her to stop vacuuming since it's was late. She started to record me and went on a tirade about how none of the girls there respect her. She has previously tried to push two girls down the stairs. Her lease isn't up for 4 more months. FML
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Top comments
weepingangel_fml 7
They didn't call the cops on him?
J3R3MYY 14
**** the lease, gtf outa there!!
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Comments (98)
ellakacyme22 6
10 months is stiil far away, so you best be carefull
Savra_fml 17
Make him think you are the crazy one. Put a headband on and cover your head and upper torso in war paint. In the middle of the night scream really loud to wake him, then run into his room and jump on him while he is still in bed. Grab his pyjama collar with your free hand (the other one holding a rolling pin), look him straight in the eye and scream, with a lot of spit, "The dirt is out to get me! If I'm going down you're coming with me!". Then do your war scream again and sprint to the bathroom. This should **** him up enough to keep the place clean. If it doesn't work the first time, keep repeating it until he complies or moves out. Either way, problem solved.
sheethapins 13
Yeah or he'd just shoot him in the night instead of over household chores and justify it as valiantly putting op out of his misery.
mk58 31
I like this idea... a lot.
whited666 0
That WOULD work....until the roomate goes "alright, brother! *pulls out gun and sword* let's go kick some dirt ass!!!"
MisterEx 28
Or, until the room mate shoots him in the face and say it was self defense.
darkmis1 18
You could always try to sublet the lease to someone else and get another apartment. You probably should've done a little more research on this guy before letting him move in though.
bsbuddy 0
It's a good idea to check previous rental history. Red flag if they don't give you their previous landlords phone number!
ArthursLifeSucks 2
I agree, arm yourself and then have a friendly discussion on the division of household chores.
joee182 3
**** that just move out mofo is crazy!
MrsAgony 6
Uh-oh....
KindaFunnyRight 8
Wait till he finds out about the rent!
MissDolly1 5
haah good luck theree buddy.
princessmollysue 9
Uh oh I think someone going to need to keep an gun under there pillow !
rallets 23
ive seen your picture everywhere, thats not you
sheethapins 13
Op, did you hear about this hot new thing? So many people are doing it these days... It's called a "background check."