Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
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Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Always trust notes on your windows
Tuesdaythe10th 11
Your username is very creative
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Comments (70)
metalwolf 17
Fly the USSR flag, that might get them to stop fighting. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. :P
PeachesnCream88 0
Neighbor problems .. Never heard this one before :) i say just stay out of it because meddling usually ends bad ..
PYLrulz 17
That's where I would be tempted to tape notes saying "Grow up"
atharfianra 2
I agree, "grow up" notes sound very appropriate.
mosquito19 14
what the hell is a bleached lawn?
larisonr 4
Use your imagination.
jezebel1979 3
Liar
imcarissa 4
Can they share custody and get you every other week?
AlexRen 21
This might end up bad.in my city these neighbors would always fight, one day one of them decided they had enough, walked to the other neighbor house shit him, then he went to the mall and killed himself in the car.
CaptainDipShit 0
Spy-vs-Spy-vs-Spy? I'd pay to see that.
murphdarkly 13
I'd take a note to both their doors saying I'm picking a side, n that side is the law which will be called if my property is ever vandalized again
dsl1123 8
Wow it sucks being in the middle of 2 idiots.