Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML
Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML
Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML
Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML
Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
PrickHead 0
could of been worse... could of shit ur pants...
ryrywakaka 0
LOL you should sniff it all up . take it for the team
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Comments (307)
aschue 5
lol
PrickHead 0
could of been worse... could of shit ur pants...
Garyy_fml 11
It was the dog...
urdirtyolduncle 15
Blame it on your boss.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
where are all of the good commentors on this FML? i see none.
Siji 0
You haven't looked in the mirror yet have you! Suck that mad burn bitch! >:O
JesusFishTaco 5
Farts age like fine wine.
Epilepsy_fml 0
Then you tapped him on the shoulder and pretended it wasn't you, and pressed all the buttons.
bbucaro98 0
start singing
opendoorclosed 8
You: "Man the new detergent they're using to clean the elevators smells like farts!". Problem solved :D!
laxscorer106 0
haha, 36, i dont think thats a good idea to blame it on your BOSS!!!!!!!!!!
imacreeper 3
106, what are you talking about? It's a perfect idea!
nyrangers1022 6
nothing wrong with farting. i would claim that proudly
RouletteRed 6
Or you could have had an extreme upset stomach and threw up all over the place while voiding your bowels in an unordered fashion. lol
Rawr_means_love3 0
Well 136, he said it, so he's nobody, and they say that nobody's perfect, so I think that means that he's perfect! I like The guy that says haters a lot!
Rawr_means_love3 0
Yeah. No one likes you. You're mom left you on the side of the road in a box for a reason....
DaySetsFire 2
Shouldve done the "it was you" blame.
_Meghan_ 5
WIN ! :D
theaws0m3guy 4
Guys, I was taking a massive crap today and some of the toilet water splashed onto my butt as I was letting a turd drop. It was sick.
theaws0m3guy 4
I took a massive crap today.
lonewolf6613 4
I am the person that says haters a lot. I am a girl lol. thanks anyway :)
baby_dee97 8
ok people who say to blame it on the boss are retarded. if the sound came out of op's ass then obviously it was op. and even if it was silent the boss would know it wasn't himself because he knows when he farts. and he knows that its op cuz he's the only one on there
lonewolf6613 4
167 u r so right. I'd like 2 see the argument they'd have tho. that'd be interesting. :)
soccerluva19 0
r u single
lonewolf6613 4
if you're asking me the answer is no. I've been dating the guy I'm in love with for a year and a half :)
soccerluva19 0
well we can still make out and my profile pic is what i look like
cowboyup1 0
That is classic. lol
lonewolf6613 4
1) I'm not a lesbian 2) we are far apart from each other 3) I have a BOYfriend and I'm not cheating on him 4) I can't see ur face only you boobs and that aight attractive. does the list need to continue?
soccerluva19 0
no but I DIDN'T KNOW U WERE A CHCK!!!!!! and srry when u put the picture on it cut my head off I can fix it if u want me 2 beotch
danica45 7
well if you say it's Jim your imaginary friend rainbows will puke
urdirtyolduncle 15
167- It's simply a joke. It's suppose to be funny because by your logic, it would be completely idiotic if a person blames another about their own fart if they are the only two in the room. Jeez, I didn't think I had to explain that one.
lonewolf6613 4
I didn't know it was a mistake and I wasn't trying to offend you. I was just giving some advice. sorry if u took it that way. I probably worded it badly. again I apologize.
urdirtyolduncle 15
It's okay. You should apologize to the calf; he looks offended.
soccerluva19 0
ok well I changed it if it makes u happy
lonewolf6613 4
much more flattering! :)
soccerluva19 0
thanks
soccerluva19 0
I thinkable could be good friends
lonewolf6613 4
you're welcome :)
lonewolf6613 4
not to be a grammer Nazi or anything but... what?
soccerluva19 0
I think we could be good friends
lonewolf6613 4
sounds like a plan. just no hitting on me. lol :)
soccerluva19 0
hahaha ok I can live with that.... what is ur name
lonewolf6613 4
you first.
soccerluva19 0
ok my name is nicole hbu
lonewolf6613 4
cool. my name is Cassie. I'm signing off. my iPods about to die. be back tomorrow. just follow the scent of people being pissed off. there you shall find me.
soccerluva19 0
ok wait what is ur number
lonewolf6613 4
uh... sorry but no.I don't give that kinda info on the net. I'll have all kinda people calling to bitch me out
soccerluva19 0
do. u have a fb
lonewolf6613 4
what?
soccerluva19 0
do you have a Facebook (fb)
lonewolf6613 4
nope. i'm not even supposed to have this. my parents would freak if they knew. email me. [email protected]
soccerluva19 0
k I'll email u right now
lonewolf6613 4
cool
soccerluva19 0
k did u get it
urdirtyolduncle 15
WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE **** UP!!! This is not a chatting/dating site. Are the mods sleeping on the job?
phatdaddy62 23
I literally lol'ed!
lonewolf6613 4
no i wiil check again 2mro. byebye. oh and 228 stfu. if you don't like our convo then get the **** off the thread. if u gonna keep talkin shit then u can kiss my ass. so take the problem you have with us and shove it!
VEVO_fml 0
ahh THE SWEET SMELL OF SUMMER
atomicbaboon 0
48, how is that a burn? you just complimented him by saying he was a good commenter.
YacL 15
You're very welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm.
Randuhh_17 4
Turn and ask him, "don't you have any consideration for others?!" and if that fails whoever smelt it, dealt it...
ProhibitionRose 14
Ah but if the boss has a loose O-ring how would he know if he farted?
ckay6 0
what and who are you talking about?
Leatherandlace 0
Look who's talking.
truededication 0
ugly and stupid
PrimeStarscream 30
HAHAHAHA!
tjnaprincess 8
Dude im pretty sure they were jking... Gain a sense of humor will u?
tjnaprincess 8
.
addiizcherry 0
Or you could grin proudly and say "I was just showing my patriotism!"
Slythrr 0
and you forgot to type "and I claimed it"
lonewolf6613 4
stop thumbing down this comment! it's FUNNY! aww now wait patiently for the haters :)
lonewolf6613 4
and that's one! yay! :)
lonewolf6613 4
TWO! keep em coming
lonewolf6613 4
oh wow now I have "fans"? I think I got a tear in my eye :)
lonewolf6613 4
okay if u gonna b haters an thumb me down at least have the guts to comment. I mean really? u haters b trippin. :) I watch them come running
jamieleigh_315 0
I'm not hatin on u , havent thumbed u down but ur weird hahaha an that's prob y they thumbed u down hahaha
lonewolf6613 4
well thanks 4 not being a hater. I'm weird cause it's fun and keeps things interesting :) besides I'm bored
jamieleigh_315 0
um not rlly but okay
lonewolf6613 4
oh just nod and agree u know u wanna :)
whatsupdoc69 0
lol haters gonna show u
lonewolf6613 4
hey 136... f*** u.
lonewolf6613 4
just the way me like it :)
jamieleigh_315 0
y did I get thumbed down ? lmao hahahaha?
CryMoreFMLs 15
AWWw 141 beat me to it. Lonewolf needs a name change to ForeverAloneAndStupid
jamieleigh_315 0
hahahaha (:
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I'll comment. You're being really freaking annoying. I thought you were a 13 year old on a sugar high till I looked at your profile. Seriously, you're begging to get mod-hammer'd with the spamming.
lonewolf6613 4
hey 169 f*** u just like the rest of the HATERS! :) if u don't like the word then... well I don't actually care so watev. :)
soccerluva19 0
wanna make out
lonewolf6613 4
179 um... WTF?! I'm a chick. and dating someone! so no
Blueglasscup 18
Augh stop using this ":)". It's pissing me off. Like TIJD I thought you were 13... Turns out you're older than me.
lonewolf6613 4
I'm a kid at heart and always will be. I'm sorry if it pisses you off but it's a habbit. just like when people say lol and omg. get off my case. :)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The word itself isn't the issue. Bombing the comments with totally irrelevant drivel is.
soccerluva19 0
well srry u could have been a guy and maybe I wasn't talking to u
rocketeer_97 1
lonewolf, you must be new. no one likes you. and also, it's *****.
lonewolf6613 4
I am new. I don't care if you like me. and I know the word is **** I just wanted to see if I could piss someone off by not using it. if it make you feel better I will start using it. **** you. :) all better now?
SkiaaNyee 0
did he pass out?!
hiyourcute 0
Sounds like an assassination attempt to me...
EvilPotato 15
does anyone understand sarcasm, if you don't, I think it's time to admit your stupid or you need to grab a dictionary.
soccerluva19 0
u like ur location hahah
00SPRANGER00 0
you're beautiful. (;
streetllama 4
wow you guys grow up
urdirtyolduncle 15
^Says the hot babe laying naked on the stairs.
mikeyflinner 0
girl get some clothes on
birchknollbabe32 0
Did you say that to your “real ****” too?
mikeyflinner 0
a giant sweatband doesn't count as clothes
mikeyflinner 0
nice joke 290
melissa1335331 0
hahahahahahahah ;)
jayellef 3
exactly what I was thinking! hahahahahha
TurboLCR 0
you tool lol
Krilleee 5
Fart-elevator! PLING!
moomoocube27 3
what I'm wondering...didn't OP realize that farting in an elevator was a bad idea? there's absolutely nowhere for the smell to go, it would just linger. YDI.
da_cookie_monsta 1
Hey, sometimes they just slip out...
phatdaddy62 23
When an unstoppable force comes up an immovable object, something has got to give.
phatdaddy62 23
*comes up against
ryrywakaka 0
LOL you should sniff it all up . take it for the team
lonewolf6613 4
lol but he might pass out and fart again in his unconciousness. is that a word? I honestly don't know :)
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
you honestly should stop commenting...
theaws0m3guy 4
Hey why're you so mean?
atomicbaboon 0
he pushed his tampon too far up his ****** last month and it's still stuck.
bfflrhea 0
uhh ew!!
Aboode007 0
Omg lol !!!!!!!! Hilarious
matt0794 1
ouch. but I guess when you gotta go you gotta go.
BossDavyy 0
you can hold in farts and poops
rofflewaffle 9
Not always. Maybe op has ibs!
Snowlight_fml 7
Farts are surprisingly hard to hold in.
sweet_candy_ 17
Awkward and gross.
keilanclarke 0
like your face.
alex1432 9
you can't even see her face. so how would you know?
deathmetalkill 3
alex, please don't feed the trolls.