Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML
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Top comments
ifunnyftw 10
Reply: "Before you ask if I called the cops, the answer is yes."
WCARlover 35
Restraining order asap
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Comments (50)
willyjac 17
What a bitch
A07 48
#35 it can be used both ways.
chrishaaansen 13
seems nice
slamdunkinoreo 7
what a mitch
llamarrama01 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She must be on crack.
marcranger 29
Given that OP is female, it's far more likely that HE's on crack. Or just plain crazy. I vote the latter.
chloewj 15
Lesbians are a thing.
Staresti 6
this was not meant to be a reply
ohSNAPyall 27
How very meta, 29.
lesliehalverson 5
Yes there is gay couples, but there's far more straight couples than lesbian so it's most likely that the ex is a "he".
iRambo 12
If you look upper corner, that name sounded like a she. So you're right , the ex is He
nooblper 21
#27 yes lesbians are a thing, but #20 said "far more likely" which is still true.
pandalover69 26
@52 Just because OP is female does not mean her ex is a man but I'd bet it is a man.
incoherentrmblr 22
Hermaphrodites are a thing too...
Dean__Winchester 16
#2 Nice picture! ;) I don't care if this ex is male, trans, or whatever - ya' don't go after another's car!
grajax 24
Take him to court?
HighasaCloud 46
Won't hold up, unless he mentioned it later. The ex doesn't specifically state breaking her window in that text so it isn't good enough evidence. He could always play it off like he was expecting to get proposed to
valalvax 13
Except its pretty damn strong circumstantial evidence... Or OP could respond "what are you talking about", ex doesn't seem to be smart enough to cover their tracks
justinemalang1 14
How can you be so certain that's it's a him?
HighasaCloud 46
#23, You're right, it is strong circumstantial evidence. And circumstantial isn't enough to convict someone, just like I said
pandalover69 26
It's more evidence then most vandalism cases get so she still has a good chance.
AnOriginalName 19
56, no convictions are needed in civil court. Depending on the judge, their relationship history and that text should be enough to at least award OP enough to replace the window.
tiptoppc 21
There’s always Heresay. Both are different KINDS of evidence, your honor!
danthehuman 29
Well, that's not nice now is it?
th4m4ster 6
Hopefully you have insurance to cover that, but wow that Sucks
WCARlover 35
Restraining order asap
ifunnyftw 10
Reply: "Before you ask if I called the cops, the answer is yes."
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Even if she has no intention on taking the ex to court she should still report the text along her smashed window to the police. This way if anything further happens she has a record of it, it would help later when the ex does something else. It also helps in the event she needs a restraining order to have a record of previous issues such as this one.
llalala_fml 19
Yes that or "I was about to ask if you were going to pay for that window you just broke"
Jasim 17
Very romantic.
PenguinBitch 44
OP: so you broke my window?! Ex: what? I thought you wanted to get back together. *gasp from audience*
rabbi1010 29
fyl, but good now you have her confession for when you call the cops.
1dvos_grl3 21
the police would need more information from the "confession" what they sent her could be for anything. that's what the police would think.