Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of five adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules? No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML
Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML
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Top comments
jdall2me 3
Hard times man
alicette_fml 12
I feel bad for the guy that got caught doing it xD
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Comments (85)
Crazberry 5
There was one of those signs hanging above my ex's friend's desk at his house -_- Like five guys lived there though. And he wondered why I didn't like going over there... I don't know why so many guys can't seem to control themselves. Would vibrating underwear work on guys? They could design some with a cup or something inside to save on the mess... Blaaadgasghgssfedfss
charliewhippet 9
Well I can't be 100% sure, but I THINK that sign MAY be a joke. It's just a thought.....
thecovert 7
I suspect there was only one person.
Rocky007 15
Can you still have sex with other people at your desk?
Ugi 27
That would appear to be the clear implication.
cornyrob 33
It only takes one to warrant the sign
ThatkidTyTy 6
Woah....
mazdamanpr5 3
Only in Canada can you ********** at work, WTF, at least go to the ******* bathroom
Bemilu 4
Perhaps the sign was placed up because of you, and only you.
Sexy_Kisses14 8
Try a "Save it for home" sign Or " -_- wow"
garytg 3
This would all make sense if you work in the **** industry.