Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of five adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules? No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML
Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML
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Top comments
jdall2me 3
Hard times man
alicette_fml 12
I feel bad for the guy that got caught doing it xD
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Comments (85)
ademartine 0
Lol
vodkaliciouz 4
Where the heck do you even work... **** industry or something?
trg568 7
that could lead to many sticky situations
venomousddog 19
I hope that your boss put the sign up as prank to confuse everybody, but if not Fyl
darkmis1 18
That's gross, unsanitary, and just not something to be done at work! YDI
krewer21 1
Wait, if more of us guys knew that desk side jacking was cool in Canada, we would have been there! Why are we hearing about this so late in the game, dammit!
noisebox 1
What kind of office do you work at? Is it a political party?
awkward_gothlady 32
I wonder what the clients will think of that...
Austyn57 1
where da hell do u work ???
N1GHTS 12
Goodness gracious. You live in Ontario? Tell me where you work so I can avoid that place.
kalbrek009 20
I hope you're joking, otherwise (if i were your boss) I'd have to fire you & everyone else caught doing it.....even if you worked as a phone sex operator....unless of course each person had their own small room & cleaned up after themselves. Good luck at the unemployment line if you continue that type of behavior. (don't do it while in line either, if you actually want a job)