Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
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Top comments
lonelysquid93 6
Should have asked if she needed a hand.
Tripartita 45
And she didn't even have the courtesy to put one of those wet floor warning signs outside the door? It wouldn't even require too much modification to fit the situation…
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Comments (27)
luze_fml 0
I guess she got fingered
_Adog2645 24
Yea, she did...
Manifestdestiny 6
#8 I'm pretty sure that's a British term for being caught, its a pun
sweetpotato301 7
Never heard of that phrase #12
CliffyB03 28
You guys have never heard that? It's an old saying but even over here in America we've used that term before. (Then being caught one, not the sexual one)
Tripartita 45
And she didn't even have the courtesy to put one of those wet floor warning signs outside the door? It wouldn't even require too much modification to fit the situation…
JohnnyKade 25
I got the joke, don't worry.
SonOfIzalith 7
Ignore the downvotes, that joke was golden,
ajk168 22
That's what good... ah I can't get another comment moderated
RichardPencil 32
You should have offered to give her a hand ... Or at least a mop handle ;)
manofmerr 27
You should've stopped at mop. I think that would've been funnier. Than again, i think that this should've been a longer more involved story. With pictures.
tosdyke 16
she let her fingers do the walking. . .
dakid87 10
Slippery when wet??
GonzoSam 13
That's an interesting twist - usually it's a dude getting caught masturbating in public in these things, not a chick, lol. But hey, Equality for Everyone, right? LOL!
RichardPencil 32
A "Do not disturb" sign sure would have ... Wait on it ... Come in handy.
maritime1992 5
did she have the door to the stall open or did you here the sound of macaroni and cheese being stirred in a bowl?
Arashikage 18
I'm never eating mac and cheese again
manofmerr 27
Ditto. Kinda makes me wonder if someone was eating mac and cheese in the stall, and op jumped to conclusions?
Tripartita 45
I will continue to eat Mac'n Cheese but only when in proximity to somebody masturbating.
annyruok 0
Yeah I always eat Mac n cheese in the stall
tygerarmy 35
Anyone want to eat Mac'N'Cheese in a stall with me?
Garagedwella 26
Edited. Nothing to see here move along! :)
ezrajab 22
Did you ask if she needed a hand?
kyu_Q 19
guess she wanted to get off early.