mazdamanpr5

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML