Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of five adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules? No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML
Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML
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Top comments
jdall2me 3
Hard times man
alicette_fml 12
I feel bad for the guy that got caught doing it xD
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Comments (85)
marramrammar 2
That is what happens when you work the front desk at a strip club!
rkp93 1
Who the he'll masturbates at work?!?
herponi 2
Oh man how disgusting
EandL_fml 2
WTF is wrong with you that you need to jerk off at your desk????
kitsune3 20
Someone needs to learn how to read. The words, "not because I usually do that" are in plain sight. That indicates that OP DOESN'T DO IT.
scuttlebuttz 1
Here's hoping its a gag sign
SuperDuperJuice 3
Damn where do YOU work?
aloha31 6
You're probably the only person who is masturbating at his desk do that's your coworker's way of telling you your a huge pervert and to stop whacking off at work...
Bludmagnus 13
Wow... you really have issues if you went there.
XeeLynn 5
Where exactly do you work??
cannonfodder 12
We had a guy do that at school. Apparently, his friend pulled a prank on him so he tried to fap into that guys bag...
silent_fossa 1
Sounds like something they'd do on workaholics
JockoKC 3
They sort of did do that on Workaholics, only they at least had the decency to go out to the car.