Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of five adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules? No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML
Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML
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Top comments
jdall2me 3
Hard times man
alicette_fml 12
I feel bad for the guy that got caught doing it xD
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Comments (85)
klx125cross 9
"frank!" "what?" "stop masturbating at the desks!!!"
efrainelboricua 12
Looks like I won't be cumming there anymore
rygorg 3
It must be a Canadian thing ... ;)
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
Oh my god... that would just creep me out. What kind of job do you work at?!
watson808 3
By saying "usually" wouldn't that imply that you have done it???
angryyute 4
Where the hell do you work?? I'm I'm Ontario too and find this disturbing
acetheone 8
skeet, skeet, skeet. don't tell me you work in a **** shop or sperm bank op.fyl.
Jasonf6 0
Just where the **** do you work that you jack it at your desk? **** company?
Ugi 27
The fact that they have to say "at desks" evidently implies that other areas are appropriate. Similarly any act conducted between two people is clearly not restricted. I conclude that you work for a UK Member of Parliament.
MoNnEy_MiiTE 3
OK simple, he said no masturbation at desk! So why don't you go to the bathroom and do it their eh, you gotta think outside the desk