Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
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Top comments
pjsr 33
I think it’s time to explain to the police that your boss is committing a crime; and time to explain to HR that he is sexually harassing you. It’s not the first time it happened because you didn’t do anything the first time it happened. P.S. He already knew it was inappropriate. He just thought he could get away with it ...and he was right!
jbuckets_404 39
What is he? THREE?! Anonymous tell his boss - if at possible ... else send an anonymous letter via USPS telling him of same and sign it with a female name(?). Good luck!
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Comments (9)
pjsr 33
I think it’s time to explain to the police that your boss is committing a crime; and time to explain to HR that he is sexually harassing you. It’s not the first time it happened because you didn’t do anything the first time it happened. P.S. He already knew it was inappropriate. He just thought he could get away with it ...and he was right!
RichardPencil 32
Never explain anything to your boss. "Speaking truth to power" is a career-limiting move.
DanielleinDC 34
Is your boss Louis CK or Matt Lauer? More than one guy has lost his job because he thought it was okay to wank in front of his female employees. And isn't this the sort of thing guys should learn when they're teenagers?
jbuckets_404 39
What is he? THREE?! Anonymous tell his boss - if at possible ... else send an anonymous letter via USPS telling him of same and sign it with a female name(?). Good luck!
sickerthanyou 13
Is your boss a horny teenage boy?
bloopaloop 27
Is this because he caught you masterbating somewhere you thought didn’t count as in public?
demix_fml 32
WT actual Cfku!