Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
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Top comments
Sandman366 6
"I'm not dating a Japanese pornstar. I'm dating you. Just be you, please...."
kingcaper817 14
Yeah that's sorta racist sorry about that op that must've scarring. You'll find someone better
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Comments (114)
kingcaper817 14
Yeah that's sorta racist sorry about that op that must've scarring. You'll find someone better
VeganDarkLight 31
Wait, what? She was trying to please him and you drop a hint that he should break up? I doubt she is a racist, otherwise she wouldn't be with him.
VeganDarkLight 31
I was trying to edit that comment, but time was over. What I wanted to add: yeah, she was thinking in stereotypes which is inappropriate but also something one can overcome and not a reason to break up (to my mind).
jenninator93 18
To be fair they sound pretty young, she's probably one of those kids who is thinks **** is a realistic depiction of sex. I'm sure after a talk it'll be better.
5sonic 22
why in hell would she think that would be appropriate
Isandri 29
people tend to do stupid things, when they have sex for the first time. boy, me and my bf were virgins were we did it, and we were.. just awful :d Gotta make some mistakes when you're a newbe!
Sandman366 6
"I'm not dating a Japanese pornstar. I'm dating you. Just be you, please...."
devildog562 33
Maybe she wants to be a Japanese **** star.
Duckzy 16
Or "Maybe I should date one then"
cherry_popper69 11
Better than her trying to be a grandma/mature pornstar
garrett_8614 14
Perfect line for a romantic comedy
ligerzero459 24
Wow, that's pretty dang racist. Time for a serious talk with her
melbournearsenal 18
Racism refers to depicting a race as inferior, how does the girlfriend moaning like a Japanese pornstar make her racist?
RedPillSucks 33
or using stereotypes like. he's an xxxxx. so he must be a criminal, or sexually promiscuous, of shifty, or untrustworthy, etc..
DoubleDosexo 12
she used a stereotype...
calza13 14
Not racist, just ignorant
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
It was racist. That doesn't mean there was any nasty intent behind it. Saying that black people have natural rhythm is racist but is almost always meant as a compliment.
izntdan 14
I wouldn't say that's racist so much as stereotyping
Blippety 23
Racism =/= Stereotyping
Scynistr 20
Prejudice sounds like a better word than racism.
devildog562 33
That is one of the funniest stereotypes I have heard in a long time. Sorry op, that really sucks.
ricardof 19
hahaha that made me laugh, sorry ??
kdm_km1 19
Can't believe that didn't help you!
americanafrican 32
that my friend, is freaking Hilarious! made my day haha
BBlah 26
This sort of reminds me of the FML posted not too long ago where the girl called the guy "papi" during sex just because he was Latino xD
mete_orito 34
Well, if she calls me "papi" during sex, I wouldn't mind lol.
laden_swallow09 35
"Pollo frito!!"
annarcheer 19
that's kind of offensive I guess.. but atleast she tries..
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Don't know why you're getting so many down votes. I agree, she was doing it to try to turn on her boyfriend and make him have a good time. Not cause of any desire to insult him.