Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
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Top comments
Sandman366 6
"I'm not dating a Japanese pornstar. I'm dating you. Just be you, please...."
kingcaper817 14
Yeah that's sorta racist sorry about that op that must've scarring. You'll find someone better
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Comments (114)
qdawg06 23
Why....
FiendHunter 19
That's kinda ******.
igive 29
Wait, was she moaning BEFORE you entered? You said "about to lose my virginity."
Dilwann 27
I think that means that he was doing all the right things.
davincidasecond 24
Well, there is a thing called foreplay, so...
igive 29
Right, I didn't think about that. Oops.
giantsfan2010 23
Sorry you had to remember your first time that way.
RedPillSucks 33
lucky for him it's not his first time as he lost the woodie
lil_ham1644 29
I read that as woodle, not woodie
Vitotaylor36 13
Is it bad that I read that as wookie?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I'm waiting for a FML about a guy or girl moaning like Chewbacca.
ckerane 16
I just hope you loved her and she's the one
RedPillSucks 33
I wish people would spend more time getting to know each other instead of using stereotypes
uselogicplease 3
you have to admit that is pretty funny
aguynamednick 20
what a dumb ****** see what i did there
ThePols 11
Kso, we're you just doing foreplay? Or were you in her when she was moaning? If you were in her, you lost your virginity big fella.
awkotaco333 15
Maybe she has a sense of humor or did believe that'd help you