Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
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Top comments
Sandman366 6
"I'm not dating a Japanese pornstar. I'm dating you. Just be you, please...."
kingcaper817 14
Yeah that's sorta racist sorry about that op that must've scarring. You'll find someone better
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Comments (114)
goodhubby 16
I am soooooo sorry man
nemcali 34
Are you sure you did not mean "ex-girlfriend"? She sounds pretty...shallow
sophiehelen 32
The **** is wrong with that girl o_O
_Maddi_Noelle_ 8
That really sucks sorry op
interesting33 37
Why are people saying to dump her? She was trying to please him even if it went wrong. I don't think she is racist but perhaps doesn't realise what he likes yet so goes on tv and things. This is something that can definitely be worked out and to be honest, I would probably be looking for anything to help me out for my first time and might copy the media
sabbyheartswhat 23
Thank you! I was hoping someone would have a good idea. She's not racist, just misled. If they're young and trying their first time she probably was on google all night trying to cater the experience to him and just got the wrong idea. I mean she didn't come in dressed as a geisha, feeding him sushi. Folks are so quick to throw away a relationship instead of talking. Hopefully the guy likes this girl enough to try again after having a talk about STEREOTYPES not racism.
JustJacquie 7
...at least she did her research?
JK4EVR8114 1
The sounds that Japanese **** stars make are extremely annoying
Omniprism 15
She's an idiot. Better luck next time. Maybe have a sock ready to shove in her mouth.
djstiv3 15
lol shes american? well..... be happy you got a white girl in the sack with a 3in penis. HA!
raikouninja 8
that's definitely cringeworthy my friend. lol sorry though