Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
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Top comments
Sandman366 6
"I'm not dating a Japanese pornstar. I'm dating you. Just be you, please...."
kingcaper817 14
Yeah that's sorta racist sorry about that op that must've scarring. You'll find someone better
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Comments (114)
smw83 21
Cue the "that's racist" comments.
PrincessSnow 2
I was watching a **** with my bf the other night and the girl in it sounded like a donkey. She went "haaaawwwww haaaaaawwwww haaaawwww". Killed my mood.
bryce0110 23
Japanese girls in real life have these normal voices, and the. There's anime. Every ******* girl in an anime have these high pitched annoying voices. I still like anime though.
VampOfSavannah 31
Cool story, bro.
Vaginabutter 15
At least she was trying OP. Talk to her about it and try again.
StellaNox 16
Ey, maybe next time she will enter the room in cosplay XD you can actually make something good come out of this, my friend ;-)
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
Get a new girl. Just get a new girl
Erebus_Terror 12
Now what if her real moaning is even worse? "Uh honey, you know what? Please do that fake Japanese stuff again..."
Nightmaremagnet 2
Let me put it this way. If it's true that dumb bitches are really hot, at least you've got one thing goin'.
captainsmegma 12
About to lose your virginity and lose a hard on? Sorry little boy your not ready for sex.
PleasantDino 22
You aren't ready for sex because your partner did something to turn you off? That doesn't make sense
Guyosi 3
Sounds like she was kicked out? L