Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
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Comments (259)
qwertytoy 0
oh wow, that's a shame
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
FarSide 23
You are probably a liar. No man with self respect would admit he is a sorry-ass lover. That is not an FML. That is an FMLBIAASALWCFWAD (Fu*k my life because I am a sorry ass lover who can't fu*k worth a damn). Even dogs can fu*k decently. But not you.... or you are just a proud stupid liar.
AlexZB 0
lol, a sorry ass-lover
myfishisBOBA 0
Most girls don't like their first time because they usually do it with a guy without experience and his first instinct is to just shove his just junk in her ASAP. But you weren't a virgin so you SHOULD know what you were doing (assuming cause you were so disappointed). Lonnggg foreplay? Lube? Come on mannn get with it. Make her want it first!!! :D
ponu 0
For many girls, losing your virginity seriously feels like getting stabbed in the ****** (that thin layer of skin is RIPPED apart). I wanted to punch my boyfriend after our first time because it hurt so much. With practice and some finger/tongue dexterity on your part, it will get better for her. Much, much, better. :D
chimmy 0
yeah, initially i had an issue with that terminology too... but "took" was probably the right term, since she obviously didn't enjoy it.
Enzane12 0
haha obviously she was disappointed in ur so called "skillz". i think if she got it from someone who knew what a clit was she coulda been more, i dont know , EXCITED! u freaking got dissed by a virgin, practice, practice, practice. make sher u dont screw up another virgin because shes disappointed with sex. GL my friend XD p.s. CLIT CLIT CLIT!!!!!!!!!!
Asmoday_fml 0
no he took it
Boss_Tamsy 0
Yup! Her sexlife is ruined.
wadise 0
he does...:)
dawny1090 0
lol I'm sorry for you >.> But most the time it sucks for a girl her first time anyway. For the most part it ends up hurting or something too. But eh, step up your game, man!
dawny1090 0
lol My first time didn't hurt. You're nuts :) And I feel bad for any guy who has to listen to you saying that during. . . I'm sure it will go down and you will need to stop :P Don't be a mood killer. .
misslady3 0
how did your first time not hurt are you crazy???? my first time i was practically crying hahaha and my boyfriend was like "ummmm should i keep going?" hahaha
ilovefatcats 12
wow. dumping her would be smart.
CountChaos 0
epic fail
22cute 17
Even the first time with a new BF is usually lame. It takes time & patience for a man to learn to please you right. Every woman likes it differently. But, yeah, I remember thinking the same thing my first time, "is that it? That sucks!"
blushy 14
explain it that it will be better next time
Chidge 0
Bad luck dude, practise makes perfect ;)
TheCookieCrumb 0
The first time isn't supposed to be great for the girl. But I'm guessing you had some fun until she broke it to you. But practice makes perfect sense.
rachs1161 0
wrong! perfect practice makes perfect
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
brycereid 0
Ha ha ha ha ha ha FYL
xanth 0
Don't take it too personally, lots of people don't get much out of it the first time. Sounds to me like you could have spent more time warming her up though.
prttyyngthng 0
LMAO!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Luckster 0
Eh, sex ain't that important in a relationship anyways. Any relationship based on whether the sex is good or bad is doomed to fail.
newguy90 0
actually Luckster thats not true. Among the trobrianders the question, "do you love her?" is answered with how good the sex is ;)
atnikolov85 0
Sorry to bring it to you, but any relationship where the sex is crap is doomed to fail.
lmmmr 0
#8 and #110 are both true.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
Whether or not sex is important in a relationship depends on the people.
lolbitch 0
so true!!!
YDI_FYL 0
obviously ur a 40 year old man thats never gotten laid or even kissed in his life
Failercoptor 0
bags of sand
HELLOASHLEYLYNN 0
40 year old virgin quote!?
missbrittanybree 0
actually if you read about successful relationships or even read about sex you'd know its important in a long term relationship.
ZiggityJoe 2
That's not true. One of the top reasons that relationships do not work is because of sex.
under_estimated 0
That sucks but I agree with the people before me. Sex isn't 'fantastic' for the girl the first time. Especially if you have to 'pop their cherry' :P
shytooth 0
Aww, don't worry about it, because sex wont be like that normally. For a girl the first time can be painful. Also there are other factors, like how built up sex is in the media [making it seem so much bigger and more amazing than it is] and the fact that you are both [I'm assuming this on your part] pretty inexperienced. It will get better :]
hughman 0
Personally, I think it is pretty amazing. I think the media is spot on.
onigiriqueen 0
She's an idiot if she thinks that her first time is what it's always like. Maybe you should find a girlfriend with a brain?
ohhhhshizzz 0
It's her first time you jackass how is she supposed to know. Not everyone knows that sex is always different, and if she only has sex with him and he stays inexperienced also it will be the same.
onigiriqueen 0
NORMAL PEOPLE KNOW THAT SEX HURTS THE FIRST TIME! I'm not the smartest person on the planet, but SERIOUSLY! He never said that she thought sex was terrible, but really. If you're smart enough to figure out how to have sex, you should be smart enough to know that sex gets better with time.
frugurka 2
To #40, #21 and all the others who says that the first time for girls always "hurts like hell" and isnt enjoyable at all. Well it doesn't hurt for all girls. Didn't hurt at all my first time and it was enjoyable, not the best sex i've had but i've had worse than my first time. But i was so turned on and i guess thats the problem with most girls their first time. They are too tense and are probably having sex for the wrong reasons...
onigiriqueen 0
I never said that MY first time hurt. My husband (BF at the time) knew what the hell he was doing. I knew that for most girls, breaking a labia did hurt, and I expected it to hurt, but it never did for me. But the majority of girls who have their first times do it with inexperienced boys. So, for the majority of women, it does hurt for the first time, and it should be expected. If it comes as a surprise to you that it would hurt, then seriously... the ****?!
BigLord 0
I was going to post this exactly. This is not truly a FML
GrapefruitZoe 0
Why are people talking about breaking labia? Labia don't break after sex! It's the HYMEN, and that may already be broken by the time you actually screw.
miss_california 0
for some girls having sex for the first time is fine, but more often it is painful or at least a bit uncomfortable, and that doesn't necessarily mean that the boy doesn't know what he's doing or that they are having sex for the wrong reasons, it's totally normal and very common. you don't have to be a genius to work out that a lot of the time erect penises are bigger than a virgin's ****** or that if the hymen is still intact then it might be a little painful to break it.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
I would think that when someone decides to engage in sexual activity they'd inform themselves.
sjx 0
My first time didn't hurt. It was just extremely awkward because my boyfriend was nervous because he knew he was my first.
inarticulate 0
Haha, I know right? I was like... ouch. rofl.
fermata 0
Um, my bf was very experienced when he took my virginity, and it still hurt like hell. My best friend, on the other hand, had her first time with a virgin, and it didn't hurt at all. How much first time hurts really varies greatly from woman to woman because everyone's body is built differently, although the lover's expertise definitely has something to do with it. To OP: don't worry, first time usually isn't that great for the woman no matter how good a lover the man is. Keep working at it and it will get great in no time.
great_lawl 0
you do not "break a labia" you break a hymen the labia is the outside skin, but nice try
great_lawl 0
for a previous comment, my bad
great_lawl 0
you do not "break a labia" you break a hymen the labia is the outside skin, but nice try looks like you don't even know what you're talking about get some sex ed before posting stupid shit on here
DorkusD 0
I was going to say "You don't break the labia, you break the HYMEN, idiot" but several people beat me to it :(
fantasma 1
if it took brains to have sex ... well just go watch idiocracy. :P ...and really the misconceptions and confusion is exactly what being inexperienced is all about. I thought much the same my first time and though I wasnt mean enough to say so it was a long time before I learned the ropes!
kira_999 0
Actually it doesn't always. SERIOUSLY! A fact: The more turned on the woman is, the less it's going to hurt, for obvious reasons. DON'T FOCUS ON THE "SEX" FOCUS ON FOREPLAY AND JUST OVERALL EVERYTHING! get her really turned on, and it's not going to hurt. I mean if she's just going to lay there...then duh she'll just be like what was that? So you have to get her turned on.
ponu 0
Some girls already have that membrane stretched or even popped by using tampons, pap. exams, etc. before their first time. Being dry or tense obviously won't feel good, but if that membrane is pierced, no matter how much lube, that dick will feel like a freaking switchblade.