Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
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Top comments
Sandman366 6
"I'm not dating a Japanese pornstar. I'm dating you. Just be you, please...."
kingcaper817 14
Yeah that's sorta racist sorry about that op that must've scarring. You'll find someone better
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Comments (114)
shiya_atomic2340 3
at least you have girlfriend OP!
Jaevwyn 17
Way to set your standards high op
demonfacee 14
Why would anybody be attracted to **** stars anyway?
yerrkiddingme 2
she's trying too
the_real_dvd 21
I can't stand girls who fake it. Every girl's button is a little different the same way not all guys like the same thing. Be straight forward, tell me what you like, and I'll get to it. But fake hentai moaning would definitely kill the mood.
edmunson 22
I guess I am at kind of a loss here. Just exactly what is a Japanese **** star supposed to sound like?
sabbyheartswhat 23
Google it. And turn the volume WAAAAAAAAAY up. :3 Enjoy your learning experience.
blargblah 12
Doesn't matter had sex. Stop complaining.
jordyn20915 14
have you ever watched Asian ****? They all sound like really angry cats
MymB612 14
Aw OP, it's sort of cute that she went and tried to do what she thought you might like. Cute intentions, but let her know all she needs to do is be herself and moan when she feels something :)
cnbcad 15
That's hilarious