Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
lollipopisicle 9
Rock bottom lolz
teentee401 37
"Today, the hooker I've been seeing regularly for almost a year..." *hits YDI button with Thor's hammer* But seriously, she's a HOOKER. How long did you expect that to last?
WhackTheJackal 22
YDI for using a slutty *****.
junpeiIori 17
why exactly were you knowingly dating a hooker...? I'd get myself tested for everything asap
sarah_baby22 15
Did you really think a hooker was going to be serious with you OP? :/
rattyrayvn 21
Sounds like all those guys who are like "the stripper likes me, she was nice to me!" Like...that is how she makes money...it has nothing to do with you being special, buddy.
krompf 3
Don't flipping hire a hooker then. YDI