Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML
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Top comments
Incubuss 0
YDI. Who the hell says a line like that?
tomakobriefs 11
Lame pickup line is lame.
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Comments (144)
Nizzit2 0
YDI
lonewolf999 1
Yeah, I also agree. What OP said was pure lame.
Card_Games 0
I think this is hilarious! Guys doing pick up lines is funny-- girls doing them is pure win! xD Though if it were me, I would expect to fail, find it even funnier, and been more like "I am awesome" than "F my life."
yaziyo 0
Agree, YDI. Laaaaame pickup line.
infm 0
haha I completely agree. a thought: maybe he just got too nervous. if I got approached by a girl like that, it'd be instant love. i hate it when girls just sit around waiting for you to approach
bryttkneee 0
is that oral herpes or did you just hit puberty ;D
jesbar95 10
I don't get it..
Hilljack3 2
Think about it lol
OmgItsAnaBeatriz 0
Lol, FAIL much?
jpwdragon 0
Well, bit of a lame pickup line but hey, you win some… you lose some.
SoccerChick1424 6
What kind of pick up line is that.. Sound like your grandmother taught you that one.
Incubuss 0
YDI. Who the hell says a line like that?
ForestFire0 1
Mae West
expen_dable 0
fat girls
ForestFire0 1
Mae West
mister_moops 0
fat girls
too_much_fun 0
Mae West
redbluegreen 41
Fat girls.
chaos753159 4
Mae West
itchyballs 0
fat girls
sparklestar69 1
Mae West
Yaggi 0
fat girls.
Sopa2010 0
Mae West
Aim4thebullseye 4
Umm I'm not too sure but I think this FML is a WOW reference.
stevenJB 25
Fat girls
KMtheDrummer 6
129 C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
Mojones 1
You messed up the chain!:(
bonbon1559 20
YDI
tomakobriefs 11
Lame pickup line is lame.
xd0rkiee 0
I don`t understand why you would say that. What does his phone have to do with him looking at you?
palmtrees 1
Have to agree... since you didn't say he'd been eyeing you all night and it looked like he had an erection, this really just doesn't make any sense.
marsmelow 3
looool u dint gett it
plexico 4
I'd be very worried if my erect penis could be mistaken for an iPhone! If it worked like one, I wouldn't be able to stop playing with it.
Incubuss 0
Do you like making cheesy jokes on every one of these FML's? ;)
plexico 4
Incubuss: Are you talking to me or Triumvirate? Because we are both pretty guilty. Triumvirate: Really? I'll go see about having my old cylinder + hemisphere reshaped.
Incubuss 0
I was primarily speaking to you, but they are probably at fault as well.
plexico 4
I do like making jokes at the FML's that inspire me to do so. In the US, "cheesy" is not a compliment, which is odd because lots of people like cheese. Except people who are lactose-intolerant -- are you lactose intolerant?
mannix_fml 0
You kids are silly.
lets_be_ian 5
plexico - like you don't play with it enough as it is without extra features? ;) of course it would be classic to see the look on the first persons face to walk in and find you having a conversation with your penis.... and then hearing it talk back.
Saluton 18
well said Triumvirate, LOL
Otrain 5
rofl
crimsongetsu 0
rofl!!! 8 has tha right idea.. that was very selfish and horny of u op
Jello12 0
YDI YDI YDI YOUR A SLUTTY *****
palmtrees 1
And you're an idiot with no grammatical skills and a problem with the CapsLock key.
FerrariCake 2
Aren't phones kind of rectangular shaped? How could you mistake a retangular phone for a penis? YDI for assuming the guy was a 14-year-old who gets an instant erection just by looking at a girl.
palleas_fml 0
that's just a known line, actually, it's kinda funny. I'm sure she never really assumed it was his erect penis. That's just a stupid line, I don't see why it would be so much dumber than any pick up lines guys use...
bananamanama 0
Wow. Just wow. YDI.
Izabushel 65
So true.
kukkakaalia 0
Guys, it's a pick-up line, don't take it so seriously. That was her idea of "flirting". Then again, it's a stupid pick-up line, so..XD