Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Well, that was a massive dick move.
mt21mt 15
That is f***ing childish and disrespectful. You are a moron.
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Comments (19)
Dave_Davington 34
Well, that was a massive dick move.
mt21mt 15
That is f***ing childish and disrespectful. You are a moron.
davecross 11
I hope she beat your ass then made you go buy grass seeds and reseed the damaged grass area. And to top it off I really hope she make you buy a new lawn mower. What you did was stupid you do that to your friend lawn not your grandmothers
joeyl2008 29
I'm not sure how or why she would make him buy her a new lawn mower.
RichardPencil 32
Tell grandma that it’s a mushroom and hope she forgot what a dick looks like.
Glowworm56 27
Mowing a dick sounds cliche anyway. Should have gone with something less embarrassing and awesome like a bunny.
sumocj 14
Grandma says "looks just like the drawings you gave me in elementary!"
mike3775 39
Hopefully your grandma is like my grandma, my grandma would beat the shit out of you and make you tear up that chunk of lawn and reseed it
RockPrincess26 16
Karma: 1 You: 0 You definitely deserve it. I hope she makes you reseed.
tonyfan00 38
"You call that a dick?! You should've seen the one your grandad had back when he was your age!"
Dave_Davington 34
As everyone know, cocks shrink with age.
Bubbilility 27
With any luck your art skills are little lackluster?