Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
kiran_fml 5
You must've been pissed.
bettyc4 26
For better or worse
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Comments (124)
urbanfan74 2
I'd beat his drunk ass!
SoultheWolf 19
I really hope you beat his drunk ass and made him clean it up.
melancholic88 2
men love to mess up and let their wife clean it up. unfair. they should at least help or just clean up their own
jerry2011 4
See the bright side..... At least he didn't wet the bed...
goodgood_fml 5
Try to have a talk with him when he's sober. Maybe he'll slow down. If not, you can always video record him and play it back. If he's got kids or any pride, he might see it as disgusting and slack up a bit.
hateevryone 15
put him on the couch.
HannahWho 8
It might just be me, but I love how women/men are always complaining about the state of their relationship and how they can't stand when people do X behavior. I don't think the going out and drinking thing is new, if you didn't speak up before and let him know that you don't like that behavior then now is the time to speak up. You can't forbid him from drinking but you can let him know that you do not appreciate the behavior and if he continues/wants to come home drunk, he can sleep on the couch so he does not wake you up.
izzy85554 0
Lol sucks to be you!!!!
nightowl713 25
I had a similar situation with my husband a few years ago. He had went to bed stupid drunk, and I woke up seeing him leaning one arm against a wall and peeing into a laundry basket. Luckily it wasn't a regular occurrence, good luck op!
asherm 15
I once had to stop ex from pissing under sink when drunk. I know how you feel.