Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, at over 9 months pregnant, I woke up to a wet bed. Convinced my water broke, I woke up my husband and had him drive me to the hospital at 3am. The nurse told me my water was fine, I had just peed the bed. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Is his first name R. and last name Kelly by any chance?
MetalxSoldier 26
He was trying to show dominance.
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Comments (31)
Wizardo 34
Is his first name R. and last name Kelly by any chance?
SauceySarah 30
lol too soon :(
moo77_fml 20
Gross!! The thanks you get :(
manuwish 9
o dear OP, that sounds horrible..hope he is getting treatment for his alcohol problem..it's very loving of you to support him, but you really don't have to go though all this with him..you need to draw the line somewhere, hope you survive this OP
PurpleMyth 28
OP never said that this was a reoccurring problem.
ZaiopePerSe 15
drunkenness does not necessitate alcoholism
MetalxSoldier 26
He was trying to show dominance.
Bearsmomma 30
marking his territory
FoxOne_fml 12
I am sorry to break this but I actually know up to several people where the guy drunkly peed on their girlfriend laying in the bed. I wish it wasn't true but apparently guys manage to use anything as toilet when they are drunk - loudspeakers, girlfriend, pull out a drawer in bedroom and sit on it and poop...
the_6_p_rule 7
That my fetish!
tismyname 3
dude same
stryder9090 28
He was just marking his territory.
jcash52426 5
People do stupid stuff when there drunk. You shouldn't be surprised by what he does while drunk. Sorry that you got peed on
gardening 17
Oh you made me chuckle. I'm so sorry but you brightened my day. I hope he is well & truly in the dog house :)
Rabite 28
This would be the last time my husband got this drunk. I so hope that you didn't also clean the bed afterwards.