Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
kiran_fml 5
You must've been pissed.
bettyc4 26
For better or worse
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Comments (124)
cookeemonster 7
You should have rubbed his face in it. And when he is sober, do it again do he. An remember it!
cookeemonster 7
* so he can
MetalxSoldier 26
Yes, treat him like the filthy animal he is!
simplyunique907 4
rub his face in it? lmao isnt that a little too extreme? -_____-
pdp_fml 21
He was probably imagining that he was standing at his toilet! Dear OP, FYL.
simplyunique907 4
is that what you do?
wakachakamaka 0
By far one of the best flm posts I've seen!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
At least he had the decency to do on the carpet..the world is a restroom for the intoxicated.
simplyunique907 4
true, atleast he didnt do it on the bed or on you...
kkillaj 5
I used to be able to go to the toilet to piss but then I took a 12 pack to the liver
swaggdog72 1
Better to pissed off then pissed on
Hakando 5
Did you have to clean it up.if you had to haha sucks to be you.
Simoneaux17 11
That's what happens when you decide to get drunk.
iloveweed69 7
Delicious
niznor99 6
Your skin is delicious.