Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hkhan24 23
Was his name Willy?
mycrazyaddict1 4
And some say chivalry is dead
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
hkhan24 23
Was his name Willy?
Jeremiah722 19
Well, that's gross
Isandri 29
For me, licking my gf's ear (or my ear being licked by her) is a damn huge turn on :d just gotta keep your ears clean buddy ;)
bluefairy_fml 24
For me too! I think it's very sexy. But yeah, preferably without too much spit involved.
derangedplanet 23
Okay the outside of my ear is okay, but never the inside inside. I'd pretty much imagine ear wax on his tongue and stop kissing him. eugh. Yuck
Thatissarcastic 17
Agreed. Yes it's attractive outside the ear, but if it's stuck inside her ear and it still feels wet hours later the thought gives me chills.
xx000o 27
If done correctly, it can be a turn on, if done wrong it will still feel wet four hours later.
rydin10 18
What I the world makes him think that's a good idea in any situation at all?
lukian_fml 29
This is a turn on for some people.
leafeon523 20
Hopefully your ears were clean...
FitFriday 32
Well if they weren't, they are now
_jack117_ 16
Well I hope he didn't lick your earwax out...
yaoi_chan 8
Ewwwww
mycrazyaddict1 4
And some say chivalry is dead
bmhampt91 18
Apparently he fancies himself a giant q-tip but didn't get the notice that you're not supposed to put those inside your ear.
worldclassrager 41
Be very carful with a Q-tip, or take a shower it should help clear it out...
KRYPYAT 14
That's disgusting!
ThePaperDragon 31
Did you just ignore the fact that it happened, or did you ask him why he thought that was a good idea?