Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Hey, at least you found a guy who's into aural sex.
JackWood 21
If you ears are that bad I wonder how bad your cooter is?
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Hey, at least you found a guy who's into aural sex.
sarkycow 25
******* perfect, Richard!
JackWood 21
If you ears are that bad I wonder how bad your cooter is?
ViviMage 40
You aren't supposed to use q-tips inside the ear canals, it pushes earwax deeper in and can make a hard plug that can prevent you from hearing in that ear. It is supposed to come out on its own. Water can help push it out or soften it, as can olive oil, warm baby oil.... Don't stick anything in your ears like q-tips!
Ksweety_fml 27
lmmfao
shannon2348 14
Ewww. That's really gross. I'd be so embarrassed. ydi