Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
As if it needed to be said, her actions were snot for the greater good.
Doortje 30
Oh my.. *shudders* *shudders again* Brr. Yuck.
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Comments (84)
dragonaair 5
Oh... gross...
NJXD 0
I think you mean oh DAMNNN SHE A DIRTY ASS BITCH
ohSNAPyall 27
agree, DAAAMMN SHE A DIRTY ASS BITCH
HotAsIceXoxo 0
ew
Mikekenny 0
that's disgusting
redbluegreen 41
As if it needed to be said, her actions were snot for the greater good.
Summer_Jane 0
Win!
whoisthisgirl 4
lol mhm. but that's nasty... I'd punch the bitch lol
insanesna1l 0
who nose what other dirty secrets this chick could cough up?
mazesm 11
you wouldn't get the girl.
AliceStar 2
Why the hell would anyone do that?
damselchelle 4
she a nasty hoe!
bariforlife 0
shouldnt OP have known she was trying to get phlegm out?? I mean wouldnt it be obvious...i would have backed off
VianaJ_Garcia 14
There shouldn't be any more comments after yours. HAHAHA!
tooflirty 8
Win !! P.S: thanks for the images that i can't get out of my mind OP
spicyasscakes 0
I love when that happens
TheNewGuy03 29
not sure why, but your comment makes me want to cackle uproariously. |the kid|
hoparta 0
That's HOT. ;)
DanielleTheOne 3
Well your girlfriend is a dirty little rat. You should get rid of that unhygenic mut.
Acousticpixie14 6
Yes, his girlfriend is disgusting. He needs to dump her. Also though...why did he not push her away? It's not as if it's silent when someone is clearing phlegm from their throat. That's quite audible.
Rei_Ayanami 18
For a stunt like that they would find her corpse in the middle of the ocean. I'm not even a violent person, but that would make me snap so quickly and violently.
wendyyyy 0
um agree... so absolutely gross.
CutiePie_101 7
That's disgusting. FYL :/
coolkid_matt 11
ewww wtf's her problem :
roflrawrlol 0
your comment doesn't match your picture >.>
SayPeanuts 29
Your reply doesn't match his comment.
limeyellow666 0
You look about 12. This site is totally inappropriate for you.
TheAftermath 0
oh my....I think i feel yesterday's chicken coming back up.
Summer_Jane 0
Well, if so, take what you've learned from this FML and put it to good use: Make sure it comes up while you're kissing someone. (Absolutely don't, *gag*!)
blahblahblah5_x 13
That's so disgusting. Does she think it's okay or something
jonseyop 0
it is ok. well maybe it isn't
sweetmare 0
ur beautiful
TheNewGuy03 29
i guess that this is her way of showing her love. i bet it came from deep inside her. she's just trying to get you to spit out the truth! remember, it's the thought that counts! ...ah, i can't front; this is ******* appalling. i would have possibly headbutted her. accidentally. |the kid|
Rei_Ayanami 18
Accidentally? Head-butt? I wouldn't care who did this to me, they would suffer unimaginable horrors.
TheNewGuy03 29
i'm partly kidding. not sure which part of me is, however... |the kid|
Doortje 30
Oh my.. *shudders* *shudders again* Brr. Yuck.