Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
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Top comments
hkhan24 23
Was his name Willy?
mycrazyaddict1 4
And some say chivalry is dead
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Comments (62)
counting_graves 0
Someone actually did this to me while I was eating and it made me to spit out my food. They didn't even warn me.
invadermaythe1st 35
thought you said "making out with my car"...
assassin707 7
free ear cleaning... wht else do u need lolol
vmbrocca 13
After that, that your ear was probably the only wet part of you. Lmao if a guy did that to me I'd dry up like the Sahara
thestoryofacaleb 14
Use a Q-tip
gypsygurl 8
Free ear infection. grim!
Geek_Freak 13
Ew. Is his name Willy?
RecklessNapkin 16
I have nothing to say to this...
VeganDarkLight 31
You just did ;)
greatfirstdate 18
I hope that was my ex-boyfriend. Do you live in Berkeley?
peacefully84 19
Yeeuuugh. I hate having my ears touched, let alone licked. Thinking about that really wigs me out.