Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
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Top comments
hkhan24 23
Was his name Willy?
mycrazyaddict1 4
And some say chivalry is dead
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Comments (62)
iReadFML12 11
At first I thought it said making out with my car lol
itwasntme14 19
Wait, so that's not what girls mean when they ask a guy to make them wet?
captainsmegma 12
Just think how good that'll feel when he heads south!
man_in_black08 28
Atleast he stuck his tongue in some hole. Lol. May have not been the ideal hole, but nevertheless.
derangedplanet 23
I love how fmls like this get all the personal stories. it's kinda funny to hear people talk about creepy exes
Dr_Lily_fml 17
Eww a guy did that to me once, thinking he was being all hot and sexy... It felt so gross I had to wash it several times to feel clean again.
A1NoSauce 17
Ewwwwwwwww how the ****? That taste is disgusting.
theJewCrew 14
Well at least he got you wet
trellz17 19
Been there, done that.
nzhx 23
Why would anyone think that's a good idea?