Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
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Top comments
hkhan24 23
Was his name Willy?
mycrazyaddict1 4
And some say chivalry is dead
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Comments (62)
americanafrican 32
i hope you liked the taste of ear wax
Dave_Davington 34
I'll bet that was delicious.
pleasedie 22
Ugh this brought up memories of this girl who liked to lick inside of my ears.
RageWolf16 31
...ew
datkenna 20
Adult version of a wet willy
Xion0014 20
Just take a bath?
jtsmommy 11
Yuck. I never liked the licking of the inside of my ear, this makes me shudder.
liquidhydrogen 6
I had an ex that liked licking my cheeks and nose... Ugh was such a nightmare
rainbowsRlove 15
wow with a smooth move like that I'm sure thats not the only thing that got wet lol sorry op hope you got all that spit out your ear!
K3719er 9
well, at least he didn't try rubbing your clit like he was trying to scrub out a carpet stain.
derangedplanet 23
What even does this mean? I've now got the mental image of a guy with one hand scrubbing and the other just going to town. what?
Thatissarcastic 17
I feel like anyone that knows what this means would rather not explain, lol. Basically they are bad in bed.