Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
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Top comments
osm1989_fml 6
He's the ****** Whisperer.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Grab his dick and say: "Longeeeer"
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Comments (134)
ICastillo 25
Maybe he didn't say cumm ....he was saying he needed a Tums before he started
Futacy 30
Whisper "pussy" in his ear.
Quest_ 13
Clearly your boyfriend got all his sex ed from ****.
sutianneli 13
Not just any ****. Fifty shades of grey ****. Where whispering commands to the ******, works. Wonder if whispering 'fries' or 'beer' to it would do any good, or would we need to stick money down her throat first?
cjgirl 15
61 - There are people in the BDSM lifestyle that can ****** on command. Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean you should put other people's lifestyle down.
sutianneli 13
I'm not putting down BDSM. Problem is, OP and her boyfriend are just starting. Commanding a not very turned on ****** isn't the smartest thing to do. Maybe in BDSM, but not here.
22JB 11
Not sure what kind of **** u watch but the stuff I watch shows the goods. So he might be watching some soft **** with being an inch away
MisterEx 28
Damn, OP, that was the perfect chance for you to put your hand on his eyebrow and say "cum with meeee"..
Hellbound_Alleee 14
Yes, you can teach him. It's allowed; there's no law against it. Also, there's something called a "vibrator." It's fantastic, and I couldn't recommend it enough. Yes! Turns out, you are also allowed to ********** when you have a boyfriend. No foolin'.
noisebox 1
Sounds like puppy love
glittercookies 12
Maybe it's because I have one so I'm being biased, but why is it so hard for people to find the clit? :(
KaiserSD 8
Why is it so hard for women to give good ********? Your argument is invalid.
Sir_Swaggington 6
I know right lol. It's not like it's inside of us or flat or something
Sir_Swaggington 6
Aaaahh this comment isn't supposed to be here *sigh*
Sir_Swaggington 6
Sorry for my second post, my phone said my first post was a reply to a different post... Basically my phone is old and decrepit, pay no mind to me... Apologies. I'd delete my second post if I could D:
yousuck44 11
I give my bf a great bj but why don't guys repay the favor?
superguppy19 3
That's awkward damn the image in my head is dissatisfying
Sir_Swaggington 6
I hope he was just being silly and isn't really foolish enough to think that this is sexy lmao.
beebeeL 1
lmfao how did u not die from the hilarity !!!!!! xD