Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML
Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML
Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML
Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
F your fiancée's life for having to grow up on her terrible cooking.
brittanyrmh_ 12
Julie and Julia is the equivalent to culinary school, didn't you hear?
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Comments (119)
greeneye_fml 12
Sucks!
redbluegreen 41
Wow, really? It sucks? I never would have thought.
meganfoxissexy 0
And your fiancée didn't tell you this because...??? I mean, it's their own mother.. They should know
Mrjangleybits 1
Really? You were to lazy just to put that sucks or it sucks to be you, all you could do was put "sucks!"?
nesscafe_fml 17
too*
gc327072 31
The last time someone put this, the mods changed it to "my comment sucks". And so we wait...
brittanyrmh_ 12
Julie and Julia is the equivalent to culinary school, didn't you hear?
simron_15 3
I guess OP didn't.
Psych101 9
Yeah! And if you watch House, it's the equivalent of medical school.
maosquare 18
Gray's anatomy.
brittanyrmh_ 12
If you watch Dexter you're a serial killer. Cool, huh?
sugarshane007 20
And watching Bruce Lee movies makes you a black belt, obviously.
yabbadabbadooyah 12
And if you watch glee.. *gets killed*
arrowintheknee 5
19 has just changed my career path forever!
laurenlovesjb 20
Maybe you can pay extra for late notice for a caterer? It'll be pricey if you can get it at all but at least you won't have horrible wedding food.
doctorwhofan567 2
Dam that pic is an fml
mario2012 18
Damn 40, your comment is an FML.
gracehi 33
Just about every time Lauren comments some jackass has to say something douchie about her love for Justin Beiber. After 136 comments that shit is getting really old.
Akumie 6
Honestly, i don't see why people hate him so much. I mean, most people haven't herd one song. They just follow the crowd. I think he's okay, and from what I've seen, he seems like a nice guy. Just because I'm not a fan of his music doesn't mean he sucks.
mfischer 17
I'm pretty sure that everyone heard the songwriting abortion that was 'Baby'. don't defend his music. The kid is nice, but his music is shit and his fans are worse. That's not aimed at Lauren, just his stupid preteen fan girls.
olpally 33
I've said this before, leave the bieber girl alone! We've gone over this countless times... If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all... Sheesh.
Cartera 10
At least his voice lowered a bit. When I heard the song Baby, I couldn't tell if it was a girl or a guy singing it.
AKGirlinSD 20
78, just like when MmmBop by Hanson came out. No one would could tell of it were guys or girls singing it. Their music video didn't make it any easier lol.
AKGirlinSD 20
*If they were...whoops!
AKGirlinSD 20
*if they were...whoops!
onlychildFTW 34
Why would she say she can cook? Is this a common thing? It's worth paying more for good food!
AKGirlinSD 20
94, I'm wondering why the mother lied as well. Nearly all lies are eventually caught and this lie happens to affect their wedding.
brandon3747 16
Heard*
TheDrifter 24
F your fiancée's life for having to grow up on her terrible cooking.
ohSNAPyall 27
She really should have warned him though.
yousodi 10
Maybe she doesn't know her moms a bad cook cuz that's all she knows haha
Demonfish 14
OP, can you cook? If yes, now is the time to be your fiancé's hero, and save your wedding dinner! Go forth now and fulfil your destiny, for this is it! Ok cheesy bullshit over now, seriously though, if you can't, find one of your friends who can.
dashizam 10
Surely you can cook OP! Or just go to Kroger and buy some fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
Chixken 6
Feel bad for your guest...F their life :(
SneakyCaveman 13
If students can live off mac and cheese, so can your weeding guests. ;)
gmc_blossom 21
What are "weeding guests"?
SneakyCaveman 13
This is what comes of not proof reading.
catatonicsleep 17
guests at a party which involves the removal of weeds from your garden or a party where you get stoned....
davymac718 4
Nice way to plan this through.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
BYOF: Bring your own food.
BossPathfinderGM 14
Never too late. Get crackin'!