Today, my son decided he is done with women and is never getting married. I couldn’t even argue with him that modern women aren’t worth marrying because his sister just yesterday dumped her boyfriend because he refused to pay to get her car out of impound for her unpaid parking tickets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son is refusing to find a girlfriend because, as he puts it, “Them woke bitches just want my money.” He lives alone, has a good job and lots of friends, but he never asks anyone out, and when women ask him out, he practically hisses at them like a feral cat. FML
Today, after my son got his first girlfriend at 19, a nice girl as well, he broke up with her after 3 days because women are "too much effort", too "expensive", and keep trying to make him "do things." Unbelievable. Three days with a woman turned him into a cynical 65 year-old who's been married for 40 years. FML
Today, my son and his girlfriend cancelled their wedding and eloped because they were sick of my ex-wife being a Monster-in-law. The last straw was when she called the dress shop and tried to cancel the wedding dress because it “made her look like a slut.” Now I missed seeing my son get married. FML
Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out because our son was diagnosed autistic and he is completely uninterested in raising a child who will never be "normal" and who will "never make him proud." He also said if I want child support I’ll have to take him to court because no way is he paying willingly. FML
Today, I overheard my son tell his dad that he’s in love. Without pause, my husband told him it’s temporary, it won’t last, relationships are pointless, women only cause grief, and money in the bank keeps a man warm at night better than any woman with cold feet. I’m trying not to feel insulted. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, my teen son came home in a terrible mood because his girlfriend won’t listen to him. I thought he meant conversation-wise, but he meant she refused to obey his commands about what clothes and makeup she wears, who she can talk to, where she can go, and so forth. My son is an asshole. FML
Today, my son broke up with his fourth girlfriend in a row, because, “all of them get those period things and it’s annoying as fuck.” He’s 20. FML
Today, my son is still single in his forties, so I asked him about it. Turns out, because he has his buddies and doesn’t want kids, he hires a house cleaning service twice a month and prostitutes twice a week, so he can’t think of any scenario in which a wife could improve his life. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Just do what my parents did and pressure your son to date, get married and give you grandchildren posthaste. Worked perfectly for me. Wait, what did I just say? The complete opposite of that.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Well, at least your son knows how to make decisions based on the evidence before him. I call that a win. Your daughter, on the other hand, is using her affection as a bargaining chip.
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Comments (3)
poopface82 25
Just do what my parents did and pressure your son to date, get married and give you grandchildren posthaste. Worked perfectly for me. Wait, what did I just say? The complete opposite of that.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Well, at least your son knows how to make decisions based on the evidence before him. I call that a win. Your daughter, on the other hand, is using her affection as a bargaining chip.
lexxiasaurus 31
............you raised her................ why is she expecting a man to pay, and throwing a temper tantrum? I've never expected a man to pay for anything of mine. my mom never showed me that, and my dad taught me how to be an independent person to nor have to rely on others......not saying you didn't teach her those things but she was taught from somewhere that a man pays for things. I use social media and I still don't expect a dude to pay.....