Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year-old man's junk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML
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Top comments
ZoZo17_fml 0
Awkward. Was he smiling.?
IndyJustin 4
was he hard?
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Comments (275)
KiddFlash 0
Bitch nigga
HomeAl0ne 20
Speaking as a 50 year old man, can I ask where you're going next? I'm free until Tuesday if you want to see some sights....
SoccerRebel594 0
Like being in your home alone?
HomeAl0ne 20
Well, I'm up to, what, the fifth sequel? So strictly speaking it should be called "Nursing Home Alone". But it's all good.
raphanne_fml 33
Setting traps all over the place keeps him busy I guess :D
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Did you give him a Happy Ending?
Kirashai 9
Do you have eyes?
sheethapins 13
No, she was tragically born without them.
Symmetry88 0
Actually, 1 in 1000000 babies are born without eyes. It's not funny. It's quite horrible.
perdix 31
Next time you come to the city, leave your sister at home. That way, you can grab lots of middle-aged men's junk without pretense. Almost all of us will like it -- you'll probably even make bus fare back to Jersey in tips.
daydreamer244 13
did he smile? ;)
alisidewinder 9
Op has it right. Lose= misplace loose= doesn't fit correctly. I think u may lose ur grammar if u don't read before posting. And my top is too loose
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Old Man: *creepy smile* Hellooooooo.
alexistheboss365 0
Hi five!!!!
SecretlyEvil9792 22
Fist pump.
a6h311h0und 1
smooth.
SoccerRebel594 0
I'd say wrinkled, but hell, I know nothing about 50 year old ballsacks.