Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year-old man's junk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML
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Top comments
ZoZo17_fml 0
Awkward. Was he smiling.?
IndyJustin 4
was he hard?
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Comments (275)
ZoZo17_fml 0
Awkward. Was he smiling.?
morganrules123 10
Old guy from family guy "It must be my birthday"
Denikk 0
So his dick was just hanging? Just like that? You Americans are really strange...
Iamnotmyself 17
We need more people like you to populate this earth... not because I'm perverted or anything.
daysgoby902 6
I'm sure he smiled after
gunmania0 12
11, What the heck does your's do?
Gfrigo 1
If he did smile that would be your Q to run.
tylersign 11
I just hate it when that happens.
enonymous 9
If you're going to grab it you're going to finish it.
Denikk 0
I meant hanging *out* of your pants... while you're out..
gunmania0 12
30 - I don't think the bloke was walking down the street naked.
Pixxio_O 11
You sure made his day...
maz_irken 6
What did your sister say?
coffeygirl12 14
Nice way to meet
ktateprado 0
Inappropriate behavior
2ndSucks 15
Not for the old guy! Im sure he was perfectly fine with it.
kiemeyer12 2
Haha agreed
lydia_is_gayyy 1
Never really had luck, couldn't never figure out,, how do love
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
you touch it, you eat it. same rule applies here, sweetie.
fauxyhaha 0
He must've been soooo happy *quiver*
Damn_Hippster 11
Excuses, excuses...
SoccerRebel594 0
Today, I was just casually strolling down the street, enjoying the fresh air when out of nowhere this younger woman leans over and gets a nice handful of my junk. It startled the shot out of me. FM...ah who am I kidding? IFLML (I ******* love my life)
ktateprado 0
Did he punch you?
BlAcKgUyLoVeR3 7
38, they call that a glory hole
ktateprado 0
^ and how do you know that? (Rhetorical question)
AnonymousTroll 2
No, they call that a glorious hold.
baseball6917 8
148: op said she tried to grab it quick so therefore it probably hurt like hell
SoccerRebel594 0
Doubtful, since he was wearing pants. I believe khakis would provide the best hand-to-junk reaction results. And who knows, he may like it a little rough, and a good hard squeez was just the quickie he needed.
ktateprado 0
They call it I premature I just call it ecstasy.
raphanne_fml 33
#172 You wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity :)
Sippin_koolaid 0
I'm going to assume that OP engaged in sexual relations with said man following this encounter in order to discern his exact age.
NavySEAL13 0
Cause 127 jizzed in his pants
xDMACx12 7
you sir/madam/everything else/(except Obama) are a win. just everything about that comment and you is a win.
morganrules123 10
90-For some reason I can never remember his name
slitherbomb 0
196 is just mad that Obama isn't a ginger and has a soul.
newnew8 0
Lol at least he got a little hand-job in the process.
PutItIn 8
"It was soft at first, but now... now it's hard."
The_limitless 4
Io don't know what would be worse if OP was a guy or girl
SecretlyEvil9792 22
lol #23 That's happened to you more than once?
venom1996 0
He tucks it between his legs!! Lmfao
venom1996 0
11- tucks it between his legs lmfao!
Futacy 30
And you should think about retaking your fourth grade English class. I'm not usually a grammar nazi, but seriously, it's losing weight not wait.
PlasmaVirus 4
Did you lose your sister?
IndyJustin 4
was he hard?
daysgoby902 6
I'm sure he got hard after that
konto4 1
Just like you got wet after reading this.
Nyolia 11
Your picture matches your comment.
IndyJustin 4
hell yeah I did bitch
daysgoby902 6
really just like that huh
Pixxio_O 11
His first one in years..
Petunia888 13
Whoa, wait a sec, 56! He's in his 50s, not 80s!
Pixxio_O 11
First one in hours? :o
ktateprado 0
Im hard.
YayorNay 8
Me 4
WellThatSucksMaj 0
Feelski of some saggy balls
lalala2589 0
He must've liked it if he kept her around long enough to tell her his age.
kevsnev 7
This is off topic, but this is my first FML comment.
tellithowitis 13
that sux
tellithowitis 13
op ,"sis your hands are so soft and squishy.. (looks) AH" old man," oh yea"
Volcano47 0
hi!
Cheylnlee 1
There's a difference between 'loose' and 'lose', OP. I hate it when people get it wrong.
markrs 0
? She didn't want to "lose" her because she let go of her hand.
markrs 0
? She didn't want to "lose" her because she let go of her hand.
youliketacos 0
Loose- Not fitting firmly. "Not wanting to loose her, I grabbed back." Makes no sense, but I get what you're trying to say.
Jaxx66 21
OP said it right. - I don't want to lose my sister! - oh the darn thing came loose.
Cairo_ 7
It said "loose" at first
gunmania0 12
Oh it was you? Yeah, that was hot.
brookem3058 4
hahaha nice =p
ktateprado 0
You're luckier than the guy who got the keys for gum deal!
jayzus123 0
your insinct guided you to the good things ;)
ktateprado 0
^ so why hasn't it guided her to me yet???
xxCupcakeGirlxx 0
op: Amy -_____- get bac- FUUUUUUUU le old man: Problem?
americanhoney4 6
Haha:p good one!
androiddestroya 7
kinky :D
tj4234 36
face it, you probably wanted to grab his junk :P.
gunmania0 12
I wasn't meant to be replying to this comment... Thank the mods for this grave mistake.
ktateprado 0
So did I. No ****.
jonn090 13
This is what happens when crack cocaine is cheap >_>
Onlynamethatwasn 0
Letting a loved one go is the first step to... Having sex without anyone else knowing You just showed her that.
gTOtheT 7
Why was her hand near the old man's junk??
harrywestt 0
(sigh)ok. read the post again.
gTOtheT 7
Oops... Well I'm stupid -_-
StuuPididiot 4
lmfao, that, was funny!!!
SoccerRebel594 0
3rd grade reading level FTW? Or is this more of a uncomprehension FTW?
ktateprado 0
It's because she saw something she liked and she must touch whatever she likes.
Deeznutzhairy 7
Happens all the time smh
mandel2000 0
hope it wasnt your junk....
crabbyabby718 0
10-your photo is soo hot. Hmu? ;)
AyeeArieel 5
i hav to agree with you 116 ;)
SadinSherman 16
I think it's to hot for FML
SoccerRebel594 0
I'd rather not say anything about 10's picture for fear of comment modding...
IAmMcLovin123 0
I was just watching that episode on comedy central
ktateprado 0
No it doesn't. You got 18 dislikes. You're obviously lying.
SoccerRebel594 0
Says the cat in the shady shades >.>
ktateprado 0
^ dog* bitch.
SoccerRebel594 0
Damnit, you've got me there Mr. Shady Dog
chickenwalrus 14
Haha 174, i like how you said bitch, is that dog a male dog or a female dog (bitch) heheh corny puns
ktateprado 0
Heres a hint. I'm not a bitch. Bitch.
mousepad41 0
LOOOOOLLLL Insert lol face here