Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, I was walking into work holding a coffee and a bunch of other things. My employee saw me and held the door. I was almost there when I dropped my coffee, tried to catch it, tripped over the curb and fell flat on my face. I heard the door close while still lying there. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML
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Top comments
Cad6 24
Nice catch.
DocBastard 40
He must be hung like an anaconda for you to catch that. I see some late nights at the office in your future.
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Comments (233)
Cad6 24
Nice catch.
SkoomaKi 28
Sure, you "accidentally" grabbed his crotch - I see what you did.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Instant pay rise
Cad6 24
^raise*
Lauren10102 3
Does this not seem like more if an FML for the guy who got his junk crushed by a death grip from a falling person?
scarletchamber 0
wow what a ****!
scarletchamber 0
I want to see how many dislikes I can ge for that comment lol
Cad6 24
^get*
crazychick1269 7
53 how is she a ****???
The_Troller 14
Yeah, I bet OP even showers naked too, what a disgusting pervert.
Rickilynn1 10
Who said OP's a girl?
lol_ironic_life 9
I agree! Perhaps we sense a raise in your near future?! ;)
TheNinjaCat 10
Wow, that must've been hard. Lol I laugh at my own joke.
BarDownDaily 12
You gave him a raise, now he should give you one.
HollyDolly660 8
Nice boobage NinjaCat...
LaughinStock 16
Ummm would you like me to compliment you too 104?? Hmmm okay nice red hair 104. :)
_LE4RN_ 4
The boss probably thinks so.
blackheart24 10
Hahaha am I the only one wondering what happened next??
blegehlehgleh 0
I guess you can say you... *puts on sunglasses* Gave him a raise.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Your 6-month plan to get your the boss on your side worked. After months of organization, the Fake-a-fall-and-grab-at-junk plan finally came through for you. Mission success.
labudamike 6
She's got the magic stick
OHai15 12
Bow Chika Wow Wow.....
jomo111 5
No pay raise if OP is a girl
jomo111 5
*i mean guy haha total space cadet moment
dhbeaver 9
get it in!
Cad6 24
^this is the result of a fool trying to write a troll #1 comment.
ALlamaOnFire 20
I see a promotion in the near future;)
toenibbler 14
^and this is the result of someone trying to thread jack
ALlamaOnFire 20
By commenting? Of course.
PInK_ExCiTeD 7
The stupidity of some people smh! -.-
KeyboardWarrior 10
You thread jack through commenting... How else would you do it? Ugh, some people.
torch433 1
wow ur sure enough to get tha job now! :D
llamafish 25
Why are people threadjacking the thread concerning threadjacking?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Dishes taste like pineapple.
swagindragon 0
I like rice
ZooMzy 9
Disregard this comment. It's been typed in invisible text.
ZooMzy 9
Still can't see it....
Mister_Triangle 21
This thread is now turtles. Discuss.
OHai15 12
**** yo turtles t(-.-t)
slick5880 22
You needed a walking stick.
TheCaterpiller 6
She found one...
TheCaterpiller 6
Or he found one, which is worse
Angitia 8
Why, 14? Nothing implies the sexual identity, orientation nor preference of the two people spoken.
ladyLALAA 29
Maybe OP needs a walking frame, they don't make walking sticks like they used to!
TheCaterpiller 6
81 - you haven't been out much have u
ThatOneCanadian 0
81- youre trying too hard
Llamacod 11
Well 81, you idiot, by saying "...grabbed his junk..." it automatically implies that one of the two is a male. In case you still can't figure it out- "his" refers to a male.
MisterEx 28
Also, grabbing a female junk while falling is slightly, slightly impossiburu.
Bullheard 0
more like a walking dick
rocket24 4
You wanted it! (;
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Obviously not if she's writing the FML.
kooochris1995 14
^ it's called a joke
TheCaterpiller 6
Oh... Yeah... A joke... Lol
Conasaur 8
Bang
memob123 0
You're sure to get the job now!
Cad6 24
Well he already unintentionally gave his soon-to-be boss a "job", so it only makes sense to repay the favor ;).
BeefyQueef 5
She's getting the job and their both getting a raise! Ba dum chshh
Pixxio_O 11
...Unless OP's a guy, turning this into a whole different situation.
Llamacod 11
71, its they're. ba dum crash
BeefyQueef 5
Dammit! But for the record I can distinguish between the different "there's." If I noticed the mistake I would have fixed it. Nevertheless I must resign from my previous role as a grammar nazi.
biglittlehead 12
I want to thin up this comment but it's at 69 thumbs up and I don't want to ruin it.
poptarttacos 0
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk...
jizzwold 21
Wrong side
jizzwold 21
Don't know how I missed the word "junk" in the fml
tellithowitis 13
Imma imma get you drunk! Get you love drunk off my humps!
florido_fml 10
How you going to thump down ^ funny!!!
torch433 1
fail smh :/
boydeee01 7
144- Nobody is "thump"ing it down.
ColCyclone 17
I was thinking about maybe selling it, you know like on eBay or something. But I guess I could have a garage sale too..
BedIntruder 4
Just pretend you meant to do the worm
btstig 11
Hide yo wife. Hide yo kids. Errbody gettin raped out here.
DocBastard 40
He must be hung like an anaconda for you to catch that. I see some late nights at the office in your future.
THExistentialist 13
hopefully OP gets some overtime pay ;)
Cad6 24
Thanks for that mental picture, Doc. But you're the first person today who made me laugh, so +1 to you, sir :).
badactor009 0
I think they have a name for being paid for sex.
rocker_chick105 31
Hey, OP never said where he/she works ;)
Llamacod 11
Actually, an anaconda isn't very hung. I think you mean "he must be hung like a tapir" as male tapirs are quite hung.
xxmel 6
Not if it's the whole anaconda.
THExistentialist 13
You stupid people. Doc was obviously meaning to say the guy had an anaconda for a penis, not a penis that resembles an anaconda's actual snakey penis, whatever awkward reptilian freakshow that may be. the guy kills people by strangulation with his penis, like an anaconda. Anacondas use their bodies.
KiwiKitten 2
Very classy ;) I'm sure he'll understand it was an accident, though.
herpdeladerp 0
Bet the boss hopes it wasnt an accident ;)
TheFamilyElf 17
Obviously he didn't mind too much if he's still your "soon to be boss"! ;)
gooduck 6
Was the soon to be boss