Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year-old man's junk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML
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Top comments
ZoZo17_fml 0
Awkward. Was he smiling.?
IndyJustin 4
was he hard?
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Comments (275)
lilmissdangerous 9
You should have followed that with a HONK HONK!!! XD
Pandaloverr 0
Not the kinda horn I would wanna honk .. (;
lilmissdangerous 9
Haha! XD
aubrey4123 0
hahahahah :D
weesh40 1
He enjoyed it.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Kinky ;D
ktateprado 0
Lol the look on your face on your pic and the comment match up in a creepy way.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Of course it makes sense, I'm short, I'm welsh, I like turtles, Skrillex and ball pits, Duhh.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
203, hahaha nice
maz255 10
203 how hard could it be? its just letter put together to make words, or is that too complex for you?...youre welcome 26
Shadow4i5 3
Btw 26 I hate Dubstep, ever since it came to tha US it drives me crazy ;...;
0pt1mus 6
When we gonna cuddle ;)?
SecretlyEvil9792 22
My brother listens to dubstep all the time and tries to create his own and it's so annoying.
gunmania0 12
Still, wouldnt you love to piggyback her?
hook_em 0
Agreed with 254 since she gorgeous. I mean who wouldnt
xaimeexoxo 4
Haha you tell him girl(:
phatdaddy62 23
Listen children, 50 is not that f'ing old! Before you know it, you'll be 50 too. Old man. **** you!
blackprince2012 9
I would expect an old man ta say 50 aint old..
blackprince2012 9
I would expect an old man ta say 50 aint old..
Petunia888 13
27: I agree, people act like he was a dinosaur. 50 is still considered "middle-aged". I mean, come on, it's not like he was 90 or something.
sxe_beast 11
My father parents are both 50. They're olllllllllllllllllldddddddddddddddddddddd. Well except my mother's face is frozen in place from all the cosmetic work she's had done.
EmoLover681 0
She never said ' a 50 year old man is old '. She said ' resulted me grabbing SOME 50 year old guys junk '. NEVER in that sentences says or implies that people who are 50 years old are old.
teh_internet 0
it is that old
sandungyyy 4
But you're a lot closer to being considered senior citizen, therefore, next to me you, my dear Daddy, are old :D
Pandaloverr 0
"phatdaddy62" is probably fifty. I guess since he has an fml it's NOT that old . Grandmas are partying and fifty year old men are getting honked in the horn .. Strange world ..
acquiesce 6
I agree with 121.
raphanne_fml 33
That's a hard situation to handle...
SoccerRebel594 0
Or just a hard handle to situate...either seems correct in this context.
WCARlover 35
Why, it's nice to meet you too!
Nyolia 11
Well hopefully you didn't hold on to it too long so you could've brushed it off as an accident.
kbt13 0
his big, hairy , beautiful testicles
outsidehitter7 9
U shoulda asked for a tip for ur service. =P
TyraaChichester 2
Oh crap... What did he do?
2ndSucks 15
He jizzed in his pants.
SoccerRebel594 0
Like a boss :)
SecretlyEvil9792 22
Cause he just had sex.