Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year-old man's junk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML
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Top comments
ZoZo17_fml 0
Awkward. Was he smiling.?
IndyJustin 4
was he hard?
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Comments (275)
sheethapins 13
Easy Pedo-Bear... Someone get a mod and call Dateline?
YurTriniFantasy 1
well did you get back your sister?
prince122 0
no she got lost in his junk.
thebano 4
To be honest you deserved it. You should have looked before trying to grab her hand.
Stylin_Since_97 10
Sounds to me as if your sister's hand was there first...
jose1760 1
You are supposed to take him to dinner first, Then grab his junk! Your doing it all wrong !!
kylebeast11 0
So ur sisters hand and an old mans junk feel the same??
Cleao18317 11
That's how my scout master Shakes hands
cooxoxo 9
Haha did you like it? ;)
SoccerRebel594 0
Recycling bins are respectable, but they don't embody the phrase "getting down and dirty". It doesn't get much lower or dirtier than behind a dumpster.
picklemonger 13
thank you for that sweetheart. I tried giving you a twenty but you were gone too fast.