Today, I was talking with my mom about getting my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML
Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML
Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML
Today, my sister got her retouched wedding photos. Apparently one of the things she had the professional do was edit me out of them. FML
Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML
Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML
Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML
Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was, "Ugh". FML
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Top comments
wistfulorangeade 12
Your mom sure is sweet. Upside: those are half her genes.
heyhihello95 12
How much "retouching" does she think you need?
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Comments (200)
heyhihello95 12
How much "retouching" does she think you need?
fashionistaGirll 0
Obviously triple the standard charge...
7mood75 7
School? Now?
commietaco 0
so I was going to say, "as much retouching as a married man in bed" than I realized that my comment wasn't funny at all, just letting y'all know.
Iamnotmyself 17
Oh, I thought that was a raccoon attack on your face... Awkward.
daisyloo 7
She seems supportive
ktateprado 0
Awww.
eminemchick 19
im sorry but... u! g! l! y! you aint got no alibi, u ugly! *complex snapping*
eminemchick 19
sorry that was mean. would u like a cupcake? AH HEELLLL NO, U GET NO CUPCAKE U UGLY!
eminemchick 19
i cant stop failing at comments...ill just go home now..
je_suis_fml 11
I get it from my mama, biaaatch!
WellThatSucksMaj 0
You must be fricken gorgeous...
PutItIn 8
That's what her pimp says to her.
NiceGuyz 0
19 - I thought that was funny. Atta Boy!
enonymous 9
My photos usually carry a rent check and slave labor from cambodia as a security deposit.
SirObvious 1
She owns your ass
trevishere 7
I would've took it as her saying you're so beautiful!:3
coffeygirl12 14
Who retouches their school picture???
yamatelle 19
*Stewie Griffin singing to Brian* She ugly, she ugly, U.G.L.Y, she ain't got no alibi, she ugly. M: she Major ugly O: she's fat and pugly Oh my God, no, the cow says moo! Op, I'm sure you don't look that bad, she's just trying to show you some tough love.
ktateprado 0
124- I touch my school photos. I touch them alot. And alot. So I do a lot of retouching.
muhaidib 2
Am I the only person who noticed the grammar error? "getting the my..."
gogreen8856 0
she's not being a good parent!! she should be boosting up your self esteem, not shooting you down!
ktateprado 0
^ I love cookies! Give me a mother*****ing cookie!
Pandaloverr 0
Well unless your adopted I believe she created you , so you must have some resemblance ??
wistfulorangeade 12
Your mom sure is sweet. Upside: those are half her genes.
ktateprado 0
Hipster douchebag Disney princesses?
ktateprado 0
Hipster douchebag Disney princesses?
Squirrelx 5
^ what?
ktateprado 0
Look at the pic of snow white.
ktateprado 0
You can't outsmart me squirrel. I graduated from Harvard and I beat Steven hawking in a chess match.
SoccerRebel594 0
You won by default cause he couldn't reach his chess pieces.
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
Gotta love FML familys
ilovecookies83 0
OP, you should have burst out singing "I got it from my momma! " by will.i.am :D
ukrage 1
liked this comment for the picture
kaylynheartsyou 10
That's kinda mean.. You are her daughter
ktateprado 0
Well since her daughter is half of her moms genes, that means she is also ugly. Can't argue with cold hard facts.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Yeah, she is her daughter, family should be honest to each other. She could have sugar coated it a bit, though.
ktateprado 0
Think about it like this, her mom is ugly outside and inside. So who's the pretty one in this situation?
stupdude3 8
Those aren't hard facts. A very small fraction of inherited genes have to do with one's physical appearance. That means it's possible that the daughter didn't inherit her mother's appearance genes at all.
StopDropNRoll 11
55- Uhh neither. Am I right?
ktateprado 0
^ Not even close. Bitch.
SoccerRebel594 0
Clearly 55 remains as the pretty one.
johnson94 5
your mother has a way with words!
bthomas0319 2
Ow ow! When did you figure that out...last night?(;
reallytho3 11
More like a way of being a bitch...
AyeeArieel 5
You should tell them to "retouch" her face
seeunexttuesdays 6
Repeating what she said and using it as a comeback is pretty immature lol
ktateprado 0
Your Face Goddamit!
number0 8
Your mom!
ryanst 7
Wait.. Wait.. I got it! Your mom's face!
AyeeArieel 5
no need for the rudeness im jst stating my mind
ktateprado 0
^ I think it's a good comeback. :D
mynameis1339 0
Your mom is awesome. But I would of said "thanks to you".
deathtrap 0
there goes the saying " a face only a mother could love" even her mom thinks she's fugly.
T9FTW 20
would've
EvilPotato 15
I would say it runs in the family.
WCARlover 35
:o that's so cruel
nixter5 18
Hookers probably charge you triple too haha
skata 4
when's the last time you saw a male hooker?
ktateprado 0
The other day in target. That's where they shop.
androiddestroya 7
target has the best g-string prices ;D
nixter5 18
108- when's the last time you went to a strip club? 1970?
kelovath 8
Ouch :( that sucks OP. well just remember: Who's the one who made you?
bthomas0319 2
Can I have yo numba?(;
0pt1mus 6
Lol. Same dude.