Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML
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Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
He said erection, not direction. No wonder he's pissed.
GoW_Chick 15
STRANGER DANGER, STRANGER DANGER!!
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Comments (118)
Ali_Br_fml 33
That's why I don't give directions... Fyl op There are always some creeps around...
DooleyFTW 17
Yeah op this singular isolated incident is the sole reason number 1 doesn't give directions! How can you live with yourself knowing you were part of that?
SkoomaKi 28
You get out of that bush and stroke him back! Return the favor.
LiyIa_fml 8
Why didn't you use pepper spray!? ;D
flamegrilled123 3
Because pepper spray is illegal in the uk
RaggleFrock 13
Bush push!
Wederoney 16
WTF?!? I bet this guy had some kind of gore fetish. Some people are into really weird stuff these days.
Nxty 2
Well, at least you helped someone out today OP. They may have been really creepy but you did a good deed!
jomo111 5
Talk about life's "ah ha" moments
Jonkbaby 23
was his name David Wain?
GoW_Chick 15
STRANGER DANGER, STRANGER DANGER!!
shellz102 12
It's just one of those days....
j_cat187 20
*op kicks nuts with such force in which nuclear fusion occurs*
Pentium_4 27
Favorite movie of all time
gogreen8856 0
at least he didn't rape you
iDoubtWhales 7
That's a way to show love. My grandpa does that all the time!
aarmyoftoast 0
Wow you comment a lot
every1luvsboners 11
He said erection, not direction. No wonder he's pissed.
skittihorse 8
I believe your username fits perfectly with your comment.
amanda_d95 9
That happens with a lot of people's comments and pictures, too lol
khaya 9
He will have to get rid of that erection before he can piss.
farhil 14
It's called sitting down and leaning forward... I learned that one the hard way. Sorry, I couldn't resist the pun.
VoteForTaco 8
That's what you get for being nice, something like that happened to me once...
KiddNYC1O 22
It's what you get for running into psychos.
VoteForTaco 8
True...true....
KiddNYC1O 22
Thank you.
wave7891 0
I luv ur profile pic knida creepy tho...
islander03 5
darn those sneaky old people!
Pentium_4 27
Old people can be expert trolls! And they know they can get away with it
akito11 5
Well I'm sure you've been told this but no good deed goes unpunished
calithebandgeek 0
Chuck Testa strikes again.
BBGeeks 5
I think you're leaving out a part. What happened after he pushed you into the bush?
modulusoperandy 7
#9 have the exact same thought as me. Did he just merely pushed you into the bush and just ran away? Or is there something more to this FML?
skittihorse 8
Oh you'll see it on the news tomorrow.
CookieMonstr19 0
Rape.
ImFrackinBored 13
He sped off in his cart.
DocBastard 40
Maybe he was pushing you out of the way of a speeding car and saved your life. Did you ever think of that? NO! You're too caught up in bashing the elderly to see the truth! Get your head out of your ass, you ungrateful ****!
GoW_Chick 15
^ Angry old man...
DocBastard 40
I AM NOT! AND GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!
ICATiger 13
I guess he has a ***** up his ass. Maybe that's why his crancky
ICATiger 13
Damn it *he is... Wait wait I can phrase this better how about.... "you would be angry to if you had a ***** up your ass" there much better
GoW_Chick 15
Oh Doc, it's okay I'll get you your meds crushed in applesauce. Doesn't that sound nice? :)
Jakesterk96 8
Old people don't have those kind of reflexes.
shoopd 19
22 - Sooooo close...*too
diamondace1 0
Hey doc y would someone ask for directions in the middle of the street thats just stupid
l0v3p4in 7
The driver had a hypoglycemic episode and fell unconscious. Car steered onto sidewalk. Old man tried to save OP after attempts to seduce her were cut short.
Abbeygale 8
Lol he had time to stroke her face and hold her hand before pushing her out the way of a speeding car?
DjeePee 25
There are a lot of Ew-FML's nowadays, aren't they? Ew. And also: what happened next?