Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Planned parenthood
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Top comments
Ravensmoon666 19
Oh wow, he's an asshole.
Redoxx_fml 22
What a pig, her fiancé that is
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Comments (121)
Ravensmoon666 19
Oh wow, he's an asshole.
Nunaetsuko 13
Care to explain why do you think so when you don't even know him personally? I don't think judging someone just because you can is a much better act..
golden_warrior 23
18 - why are you so serious on fml, you mother ******. Ohh ****, I judged you.
caohm 18
#18 you must be new to the internet allow me to show you around
Caitie_kid 8
She should kick him in the balls every time he says it and then nickname him "Ouch, Ouch".
Nunaetsuko 13
it's the fact that they called the fiance an "asshole" that irks me, he was probably just fooling around. I dont mind some joking around but saying that he's an asshole is taking things to the serious level.. well whatever
coversquirrel 8
The real question is why doesnt she just ******* say 5 months instead of saying it in weeks.
Aky0n 10
the man called his pregnant wife a pig...by just doing that he's an asshole. Joke or not he needs to give her more respect.
Zimmington 21
48- she's probably one of those people that'll say their 1 year old is 12 months
Caitie_kid 8
48, because things change week to week in a pregnancy and so usually pregnant women refer to their progress in pregnancy in weeks, not months.
Beepbeep7 14
#18 if you are so sensitive to people name calling on here,you are either too young or not a frequent Internet user.He is an asshole,he deserved that comment.
GEFStryker 29
Hey... hey, 43.... psssst... 43. Yea, you. You're an asshole. I'm so totally serious and taking it to the next level, based on my own preconceived notions of you as a person because of your ridiculous statements concerning not thinking someone is an asshole because you try to read between the lines. So like, totally STFU and GTFO if you want to be a little baby. There's that tour someone else promised you. Asshole.
Bradley_Dillon 39
He has a good humor!
Narttu 20
@48 Because tracking a pregnancy week by week is more accurate as far as development of the foetus/baby.
cecilk 29
48. Also 20 weeks are 4,5 months and not 5 months. Only February manages to have exactly 4 weeks and that only 3 out of 4 times.
Nunaetsuko 13
wtf #74...
droln4maltesers 8
Are you ******** me? Joke or not he's an asshole for calling her that in the first place. Oh no, you're right... He's actually a nice guy.
JonDG 12
oink oink? wtf your not fat your prgnant. its not like you swallowed a fetus or anything
TheCanucklehead 22
Whoosh! Guess what just flew past that head of yours #2? Thanks for 'understanding'
Redoxx_fml 22
And you can't spell and may also be drunk
emeraldisle 30
*you're
Zimmington 21
she may not have swallowed the whole fetus but...
mFUNdo21 17
she wouldn't be pregnant if she swallowed
Jst4kicks 16
hes just joking around with you, have a little sense of humor no?
awsamb 8
I gave you the thumbs down because you said no at the end.
sarah6786 14
No.
Redoxx_fml 22
What 10 said
imawesomeokay 15
Do you know how hormonal pregnant women are? And how self conscious some of them are due to their weight?
Rainhawk94 27
People here obviously did not read read the Fml when the wife got in a hormonal fit when her husband got her taco bell because she was craving from her pregnancy. The woman is the queen people. The faster you learn it the better
phoneYuNOlisten 16
A life lesson learned from Dad
Redoxx_fml 22
What a pig, her fiancé that is
Dodge4x4Ram 46
babe would be sweeter
Redoxx_fml 22
That'll do pig, that'll do
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
thats a good movie. tear jerker. makes me want a pig if they were clean and softer to the touch.
TwistedCherub1 15
Pigs are actually very clean. Ours back up to the fence to eliminate so waste doesn't build up in their pens. Pigs only roll in mud to protect from sunburn and insect bites. They also use spouts to drink instead of stagnate tank water. They're the smartest of our livestock as well.
ruckfules85 34
So what's the problem. Let him know if you feel bothered by it.
gracehi 33
Make his nickname "Ouch ouch."
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
from groin pain?
KushCrushin89 10
Welcome to the end of the thought, 77.
dakotahulsey 15
Ah... Once the hormones wear off it'll be funny.
Nunaetsuko 13
Maybe try to laugh it off? I don't know but there's definitely more unfortunate situations in the world while you have someone who cares about you and you're going to be a mom soon
pam241 15
your fiancè is a complete dick