Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, while at the mall, I was traveling up the escalator on my way to the food court. When I neared the top, the handrail severely shocked me, causing me to drop a bag of China I had just bought, which fell to the bottom of the escalator and shattered. FML
Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML
Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
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Top comments
Imawhalerider 0
Girls don't usually get that defensive of their bf's. FYL
akalisser 0
I'd slap the chick back.
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Comments (107)
blah123blah 0
Haha
Deathlyranch 0
FYL. You should slap her back. If she still is a Bitch then push her down the escalator. :)
dx169 0
Should've gotten back up and winked at her before busting out some Jackie Chan shit. Basically, you grab her hair, toss it into a position that covers her eyes completely. You take off one of your high heels, bite off the heel with your teeth and spit it in her mouth. That should win his hard ass over.
USMC_Marine 0
Why would you even wear high heels? Your going to the mall alone not to perform at a strip club.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Seriously, what? I don't get you ditzes who wear "uncomfortable" things because they're in fashion. In fact, heels are a mystery to me. This is your fault since you decided to wear heels, YDI. Female, 18, and never worn heels. And yes, I have a boyfriend.
Ligerie 0
Your from Bakersfield? No wonder I find you retarded....
Redneck325Ci 0
Correction...It should read; "You're from Bakersfield. No wonder I find you retarded." Nice way to make yourself sound retarded. Oh, the irony!
pelican2 0
grammer police? fag
null_fml 11
That should read: "Grammar police? Fag."
XxHannahxX 0
Damn, people get so sensitive over minor grammar errors, seriously why don't we just focus on the main topic: The FML? As for the FML, YDI for wearing uncomfortable shoes to look fashionable.
XxHannahxX 0
Btw to the Redneck dude, if your going to correct somebody's grammar do it correctly. He obviously meant for "You're from Bakersfield" to be a question, not a comment. Even my 7 year old sister could have figured that out. Next time you want to be an anal douche, don't make yourself look stupid.
thereitgo 1
By the way to the Hannah dude, if YOU'RE going to correct somebody's grammar that's already correcting another person's grammar do it correctly. He obviously meant that aside from the question mark, the "Your" should've been a "You're," something that you clearly haven't grasped yet. Even my 7 year old sister could have figured that out. Next time you want to be an anal douche, don't make yourself look stupid.
ranbeer 0
but your still hella fugs!
Redneck325Ci 0
You got owned by "thereitgo". Therefore making you a DUMB ASS! Oh, the irony again! Next time, stick to the kitchen ****-waffle.
Redneck325Ci 0
#54....Your comment is full of EPIC WIN! LOL
null_fml 11
Wow, I can't believe both #52 and #54 BOTH have 7-year-old sisters. What are the odds?
Redneck325Ci 0
Lots of people have 7 year old sisters...it's not that rare. Now if you said something along the lines of a monkey having a job, then there may be some odds to that.
null_fml 11
#76 - I was just being sarcastic, making a joke about how #54 masterfully mocked #52.
Redneck325Ci 0
LOL, I know...as was I.
null_fml 11
Damn! I never can tell.
Shadow_Phantom 26
I'm not "from" here. I was forced to move to this hell hole, due to my father's change of jobs. I guess this could be a FML of sorts.
leyash 0
You're all pretty gay for arguing over the internet. Get a life.
hellokittywhore 0
muhahahaha!!!! this comments a win made me laugh harder then the fml did lol
zbork181637 0
I like how you name is grabber
2gether4ever 0
what the **** is with the word "buttocks" ? just use bum or butt or ass or ANYTHING other than "buttocks". jeez, we don't live in the 80's.
guitarheaven789 0
I hate escalators I always feel like falling. You should've started screaming pretending that she would rape you.
awsomechick212 0
buttocks? lol
charliethom 0
#88 you get a life and stop using gay as a curse word douch bag WHT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU BITCH and no I'm a Strait female who does not know gay people ( unless there keeping it a secret)
Imawhalerider 0
Girls don't usually get that defensive of their bf's. FYL
MarkToast 19
I disagree. my brother insulted me and my girlfriend beat him with a boot
chipmunk95 0
freak
akalisser 0
I'd slap the chick back.
Shrekie_fml 23
Why? If you were walking with your BF/GF and someone touched their downstairs area I can't imagine you'd be to happy.
DameGreyWulf 1
Why would you wear uncomfortable heels, really? Or any uncomfortable shoes? Especially if you're going to be walking around a lot (you're in the mall, after all). FYL, but still... ******* hate heels they're always uncomfortable. Just don't bother... How did she not notice your flails?
null_fml 11
Maybe she thought OP's flailing was fake, and that she was acting like she was falling, as an excuse to grab the guy's ass.
meaganinja 12
10, nobody is that desperate.
badluckalex 23
you would be surprised
Tubasaurus 0
Maybe you shouldn't buy shoes that you can't stand in.
krazygirl100 9
i
krazygirl100 9
l lol
zabeth_fml 0
Grab the railing next time?
Hoax_fml 0
The railing? Gee whiz, that just might be crazy enough to work!
Protegas 0
The railings move, too, and would most likely throw her more off balance.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Why does #57 have a bunch of thumbs down? Escalators legitimately don't have railings other than the belt thingies, do they?
fucentarmal 1
next time, tell his girlfriend not to be bitter, she can join in too.
Iroquois_fml 0
YDI for wearing heels.
kellster 2
Seriously, all the people telling you YDI for your idiotic footwear have a point! And really, grabbing for the handrail didn't occur to you before the butt?