Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Put fishie in a little coffin, and put on your best black suit. Decorate the house like a funeral parlor and when she gets home you can tell her how brave and heroic fishie was, and now it is time to honor his memory. Make up some stupid story about fishie trying to save the house from burglars, how he scared them away but was mortally wounded in the fight. If she was stupid enough to trust you with feeding her fish, she'll be stupid enough to believe your story.
laurbullet5 0
Get off the internet and go buy the stupid fish!
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Comments (108)
ScaryPants3 0
Awh good luck with that one. RIP fishy.
coldplaylive2003 0
Ok don't panic this is waht you have to do 1. Take the fish out if the tank carefully 2. Preheat the oven 3. Put the fish in and bake until it's golden brown 4. Enjoy then go to the pet store and get your sister a new fish
the_stereotype 0
i didn't get that joke until i got to the last line. very funny, #11
ClumsyJason 3
LMFAOOO!
rayray_chacha 0
Haha, this is my favorite comment ever.
Crash92 0
REPLACE IT, though the cooking idea is good too.
FerSureBomb 0
OR! do steps 1-3, but give it to your sister, "Honey, I hope you enjoy the fish...by the way, I'm going to run to the pet store for a few minutes."
DangerousBabee 0
Just tell her its sleeping :P
lizzilla8297 2
then go and buy a new one! don't just sit here on your computer!
YouCantBreakMe 9
OR you could tell her the truth. HAHAHAHA jk jk. That's a stupid idea, just tell her it died of natural causes.
1molinamatt 5
Lmaooo :p
Herropreez17 0
TO THE PET STORE!!!
livelobster123 14
LOL you just made my day!
hailee_bee 0
YDI, you should've remembered.
xxmollyxx 25
You should've remembered, but surely it won't be too hard to replace? But I guess you're running out of time!
Noremac42 8
You should get her a new fish. One that does tricks.
laurbullet5 0
Get off the internet and go buy the stupid fish!
saimaali 0
Totally agree. Replace it, if it means that much to her. She won't notice the difference. Or, admit your mistake and face your shame.
theduckiequacks 0
Tell her that her fish is just playing dead.
ManWh0re 0
FTW~
plexico 4
Go to the store and buy a new one. If you don't have time to go there and back before she gets home, take the dead one when you go to the store and tell your sister, you took fishie for a walk.
scateice 0
Meanie
FerrariCake 2
Put fishie in a little coffin, and put on your best black suit. Decorate the house like a funeral parlor and when she gets home you can tell her how brave and heroic fishie was, and now it is time to honor his memory. Make up some stupid story about fishie trying to save the house from burglars, how he scared them away but was mortally wounded in the fight. If she was stupid enough to trust you with feeding her fish, she'll be stupid enough to believe your story.
BritishHobo 0
'If she was stupid enough to trust you with feeding her fish, she'll be stupid enough to believe your story.' Brilliant XD
the_stereotype 0
sooo true although, if the OP was lazy enough not to take care of a fish, she'd probably be too lazy to carry it out.
Bunneh18 0
You sir, are made of win.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Love this haha :)
cryssycakesx3 23
I'd love you to be the father of my children.
fringle 0
YDI! A fish should be valued as life as much as a cat or dog. I hate when people say, "it's just a fish buy another". Would you like it if they said, "it's just a human. there's billions more where that came from"
FerrariCake 2
Yes. I would like that.
OrangeGlo 0
No, I would not like that, because animals can't talk and I would be freaked out.
FerrariCake 2
And there is a HUGE difference between cats and dogs and fish: Fish are delicious.
OrangeGlo 0
Have you had Chinese food? Dogs and cats are also delicious.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
If humans were as lame, stupid and pointless as fish I probably wouldn't care.
chveya 6
Clearly, you haven't seen THIS fish: encyclopediadramatica.com/kittens
Niceplace 0
EWWWW
wutupbruh 0
DONT ******* GO ON THAT WEBSITE. HOLY SHIT. dude those shock sites are really pissing me off... but you totally got me.
PlasmaWafflez 0
Thanks asshole, I was eating. I hope someone mutilates your penis.
xenomorph 0
Think of something you like and Google for images of it. Eye bleach FTW.
1molinamatt 5
Hahahaha