Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Unreliable narrator
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
All shook up
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Far out, man
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
High times
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
What did you say?
Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML
Hip cats
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Grammar police alert
Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML
Because I got high
Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML
Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.
bonezisme 0
nice sounds like short term hit you bad
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Comments (728)
jc302406 3
I totally know how ya feel. I've been there
ups420 0
way to prove ur point lol
fml98kevin 4
dont do drugs dumbass
jewfro311 0
Weed is illegal fir a reason, dipshit.
brianjman14 23
It was illegal because of racism.
Kushman10 0
and the government can't tax it
CTVrhythmguitari 8
Because the paper used to wrap weed is much cheaper than the paper used to wrap cigarettes and there are no addictive chemicals in weed, like there are in cigarettes. Therefore the government said **** that and made it illegal. I'm sure that's not the only reason though, I'm sure there's something else ridiculous behind it.
5t3ff1k4h 47
579 - Laced weed counts as weed with chemicals, just like cigarettes. And no, you usually can't tell the difference until you've already had some.
malpalll 0
it must be the ganja, it's the marijuana.
JDiz83 0
depends how old you are. smoking weed before the age of 15 can have negative developmental effects. Also, nobody should smoke anything daily. Once in a while does no harm with weed but every day is pushing it (and is bad for your lungs)
monnanon 14
Exactly, treat it the same as alcohol, put an age limit on it and legalise it. Never did Holland any harm.
sleepyhungry93 0
oh you proved a point all right.
Risket 0
Die pothead
LEGALIZEWEED 0
Why don't you all educate yourself about marijuana since you all think it's sooo bad . It's never killed anyone ever alcohol and tobacco kill thousands each year but they're perfectly legal . Get educated about marijuana got to NORML.org
ThisIsntMyLife 0
Then I take it your not normal? I was 9 when my best friend took her first injection of a drug ever. It was tiny, her cousin, who sold it to her was watching to make sure she did it properly, and she died. She died in front of me before the ambulance even got there. It was marijuana, cannubis, weed, whatever you want to call it. You think it's harmless? you stand over Leahs grave and say that.
brianjman14 23
That is the most bullshit story I've ever heard.
nowayisthisreal 4
I feel pretty certain that you were stupid before the weed.