Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
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Top comments
ChasinParkedCars 0
"Uhhh, honey? You sure you want me to read.. Okay then. 'God damn baby you know how to treat me right. I hope we didn't make too much of a mess in your parents bed.'"
BadLuckTuck 0
At least you didn't crash and die reading that text.
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Comments (120)
Vorock 0
That sucks.
FueltotheFire 0
YDI for having a father.
yamba_fml 0
YDI for GIVING YOUR PHONE TO HIM. Seriously, common sense much?
Kiwi_Splash 0
Exactly. Why'd you just let him check it for you? Geez, I'd never do that because things like THAT could pop up!
Vaetrus 0
I think she was about to read it, but he said no, took it, then read it to her. By the time she realized what might have been in the message... well, he was probably very embarrassed. He should not have been reading her messages anyway, would have been better to just keep it away from her until they arrived. And to those saying just check the sender first, he was probably handling the phone at that point. Or she didn't think the boyfriend was text that of all things.
dx169 0
Today, I was in the car with my smoking, hot, teenage daughter (who I assumed was a virgin), when she got a text from her boyfriend. I do not allow her to read her texts or use the phone while driving so I decided to read it to her aloud. It started off with "Babe, last night was amazing. Too bad your ****** dad came home early." FML
2gether4ever 0
WTF # 40??? okay so it's her fault for having a dad. god you guys are such idiots!!
kayladance101 13
87...i think they are funny. chill.
cars819 0
#84 Winn!!!
_srsly_fml 4
Sure, 84, because every totally normal father calls their teenage daughter "hot" and "smoking."
ohshitcock 0
haaaaaaaaaha
heerrnia 5
This makes me picture that kid from back at the barnyard!!
stryker0530 0
sorry honey. i didnt know wat the text would say. im not mad anymore though
dinosaursmoo 0
^^^^^^ I highly doubt this is the OP's dad.
happy_me 0
same. creeper.
x__lola 0
lmaooo embarrassment.
Suekoff16 3
Awkward.
2012girl 0
ahahahaha
ChasinParkedCars 0
"Uhhh, honey? You sure you want me to read.. Okay then. 'God damn baby you know how to treat me right. I hope we didn't make too much of a mess in your parents bed.'"
Mylees 0
lmfao
BadLuckTuck 0
At least you didn't crash and die reading that text.
ananamoose 0
At least your dad didn't grab the wheel after reading it turn it really hard and drive you off a 300 foot cliff and at the last second jump out and stand and watch you fall to your doom
generalsmith2 0
why would he do that retard?
RJB 0
I think Anamoose is exageating that REDLUCKTUCk posted Atleast you didnt die(or something like that) I think hes saying who cares. The dad didnt so why bring it up. least i think lol
theanonimouse 0
I think RJB is trying to explain something that everyone should have gleaned from reading the first two comments.
love4bit 0
i think the onimouse is cleverly and quite hilariously pointing out the complete pointlessness and redundancy of explaining the first two comments. way to go RBJ. AHAHAH :)
BulletStreet 0
Yeah, they crashed and died when a voice recording of her and her girlfriend having sex. "squeeze harder!" "HONEY! WHT THE HELL IS THIS?" *crash* "I can explain! See, Dad, when a woman loves a man, they grab whip cream and grab the gears and go!"
headshotkillz 0
maybe he wanted to get in on that
plexico 4
You had a threesome with your dad? Yuck!