Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
This is really an FtDL (**** the Dogs Life)
SundayNightSix 23
What I want to know is why the hell the "hot oven door" was able to be licked.. If he just walked over while you were still using it, then I feel more sorry for the dog that you left the hot oven open.. =/
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Comments (205)
SomeDumbass 17
I'm guessing it probably tasted like burning...
shazzyzang 4
It's your responsibility to make sure the dog doesn't get into situations like this so I hope you do give it away then a decent family can actually get it and take care of it
Anonymous2194 4
Get off your ******* high horse. Don't act like you're better than OP. They're called accidents, you ******* idiot.
hxnnxh 14
As #20 said, I doubt dogs would understand that ovens are hot. My dog likes to eat its own poop.
Sangue0608 26
You probably shouldn't let your dog eat it's own poop..
darbmutat 12
Yes, of course you guys deserve a dog that understands the conventional oven, and meets any of your other standards. Absolutely.
Anonymous2194 4
Yes, of course you have the right to be an absolute douchebag.
SuperStormCindy 8
That's not right. Your husband's first thought is to give it away because it's not too smart? Sounds like your husband doesn't deserve/shouldn't have a pet at all.
GhostChickens 17
It's pretty normal because they'll start to associate ovens with warmth and food. Dogs aren't going to know an oven can burn them just by looking at it. They're animals, they mostly only know primal stuff and obvious dangers. It doesn't mean they're dumb, just that they're not human. Babies don't understand things like that either, but they learn. Dogs can learn it too. As a rule though, you should avoid making a dangerous situation around your dogs until they've learnt that they're dangerous. Either close the oven door immediately when not in use or don't allow your dog in the kitchen. You can train it to avoid the oven by bringing the dog in when the oven is cold and teaching him then, when it's safe to touch and the dog won't be harmed.
thomcmoore 23
Maybe he just didn't understand that a hot dog is not actually a dog.
imagineapc 11
**** you both for getting a dog when neither of you were prepared for the training they need. **** you both again for not stopping your dog from licking the inside of a hot oven door. Dogs go after food, there was food in the oven. This is not rocket science - it's called being responsible.
Anonymous2194 4
**** you for being an asshole. Reported.
FrankHotpants 31
You only get out of your pets what you put in, don't expect them to be trained and know what you want or expect without training.
Krissey_DJ 16
I had 4 dogs and not once did they ever lick anything hot :/ It's not like dogs can't sense heat and know it bad. That's like a basic survival instinct. Everyone is saying shame on the OP for leaving the oven door open, but I don't think a dog licking it is such a common occurrence Plus she was cooking It's not like she just left it open the whole time, she was probably in the process of taking something out/putting something in, which is probably why the dog came over
imagineapc 11
So at what point would you, as the human who has been using ovens for years, take the responsibility you signed up for when you got the dog and tell the dog no?! A simple no would have sufficed and the dog would likely not have licked the oven.
ksks1234 33
I am sure the dog did not keep licking the oven, it probably happened pretty fast and op did say no. Now if the dog DID keep licking the oven and op just watched it happen, the dog is really, really stupid and op is at fault.
JazNim17 18
Sure, they can sense heat as well as you or I can, but I know that I have occasionally burned myself on something that I didn't realize was hot until I touched it.